IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

People are less fit and active nowadays than in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measure can be taken to fix this?

In
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
Punctuation problem
, peolpe
show examples
peolpe
Correct your spelling
people
 used to live fit because they were
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
 in running and jogging
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
but
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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as time
grows
Verb problem
goes on
show examples
,people have keen
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
 in junk foods
Punctuation problem
, becasue
show examples
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they often feel less active and
unsuccessful
Correct word choice
unable
show examples
 to be fit.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will
advice
Replace the word
advise
show examples
 them to be fit and active with my own opinions
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
moreover
Punctuation problem
moreover,
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 a conclusion is
deduceed
Correct your spelling
deduced
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, fast
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
demand
Check wording
apply
show examples
is increasing day by day
Punctuation problem
. people
show examples
people
Fix capitalization
People
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whereever
Correct your spelling
wherever
go
Correct pronoun usage
they go
show examples
 first they try these foods easily
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, they do not
deem
Verb problem
realise
show examples
 that because of
Correct pronoun usage
these
show examples
those
Punctuation problem
those,
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 they are
being
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 unfit and
unactive
Use the right word
inactive
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
everyone
Fix capitalization
Everyone
show examples
 should avoid to stay fit.
Instead
Linking Words
 of fast
food
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, everyoney
show examples
everyoney
Correct your spelling
everyone
 ought to try healthy
food
Use synonyms
 like bananas or
alos
Rephrase
apply
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other fruits which
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
 healthy calories.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,even
somebody
Correct word choice
if somebody
show examples
 wants to eat
he
Punctuation problem
, he
show examples
 or she should follow exercise
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
 to be fit
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; otherwise
show examples
otherwise
Punctuation problem
otherwise,
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 it may cause their health
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Moreover
show examples
moreover
Punctuation problem
moreover,
show examples
 we should avoid these kinds of
food
Use synonyms
 . In past,people used to eat very
less
Correct word choice
little
show examples
 junk
food
Use synonyms
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; therefore
show examples
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 they were very healthy and wealthy,and
also
Linking Words
 used to do exercise in the morning. But now we have gyms
for
Change preposition
to
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 stay
fit
Punctuation problem
fit,
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 we should approach
there
Use the right word
them
show examples
 and do it on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
 basis
Punctuation problem
. moreober
show examples
moreober
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, we should try to avoid oily things. In conclusion,
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
 life
depands
Correct your spelling
depends
 on healthy things
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
; therefore
show examples
therefore
Punctuation problem
therefore,
show examples
 try to approach those and
also
Linking Words
 be regular
ath
Correct your spelling
at
gym
Correct article usage
the gym
show examples
or
Punctuation problem
, or
show examples
 you can do exercise anywhere

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coherence and cohesion
Use clear and correct sentences. Avoid spelling mistakes and grammar errors for better understanding.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or ideas to support your points about health and fitness.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs for each idea or point you want to make.
task achievement
You have chosen a relevant topic and made an attempt to address the issue of health and fitness.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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