IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many places, new homes are needed, but the only space available for building them is in the countryside. Some people believe it is more important to protect the countryside and not build new homes there.What is your opinion about this?

Due to
Linking Words
 the vast number of
people
Use synonyms
,we
emphesis
Correct your spelling
emphasise
 that
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
 new
houses
Use synonyms
are play
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
 a vital
rule
Use the right word
role
show examples
 for our
comunity
Correct your spelling
community
. But some individuals
belives
Verb problem
believe
show examples
 that
protect
Wrong verb form
protecting
show examples
 the
suberb
Correct your spelling
suburb
 is more important.In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I try to explain both of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 views. In these years, a numerous of
people
Use synonyms
 move to cities since cities offer greater employment possibilities and a higher standard of living.
Therefore
Linking Words
,these areas need
constraction
Correct your spelling
construction
 a lots of
bulding
Correct your spelling
buildings
 to reduce
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 of homes until
youngs
Use the right word
young
show examples
or
Check wording
people or
show examples
 poor
people
Use synonyms
Verb problem
can efford
show examples
efford
Correct your spelling
afford
 to purchase
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.If the price of
home
Correct article usage
a home
show examples
 is not reasonable,
people
Use synonyms
 may stay in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tents or in a bad
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
. The
result
Use synonyms
 of
investigation
Correct article usage
the investigation
show examples
 in the
Gardian
Correct your spelling
Guardian
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
 that in
neghiberhood
Correct your spelling
neighbourhoods
 with high
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 of
homeless
Replace the word
homelessness
show examples
,
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of crimes
are increased
Wrong verb form
increases
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,most
of persons
Check wording
people
show examples
 are oblivious to the consequences of damaging the environment.
As a
Linking Words
result
Use synonyms
,governments should raise public
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the consequences of
thereatening
Correct your spelling
threatening
 the environment.
Also
Linking Words
cutting
Punctuation problem
, cutting
show examples
 down trees for
bulding
Correct your spelling
building
the new
houses
Use synonyms
 can destroy wildlife habitats.
As a
Linking Words
result
Use synonyms
 of destroying wildlife habitats,several endangered species are becoming
exinct
Correct your spelling
extinct
. So
governemnts
Correct your spelling
governments
,in order to protect these
places
Punctuation problem
places,
show examples
 should enforce laws to ban
constracting
Correct your spelling
construction
 with no
observasion
Correct your spelling
observation
.In my
city
Add a comma
city,
show examples
 most
number
Check wording
apply
show examples
of
Correct article usage
the garden
show examples
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the city
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 vanished, because of
making
Verb problem
the construction of
show examples
 new
houses
Use synonyms
 for poor
people
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
as
Fix capitalization
As
show examples
 a
Use synonyms
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
unfortunately
Punctuation problem
unfortunately,
show examples
 we missed lots of trees and
Correct article usage
the inhabitant
show examples
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
 of the animals. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 we need to
constractions so
Verb problem
construct
show examples
 many
houses
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 rectify the economic issues,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
I think
preserve
Wrong verb form
preserving
show examples
 the heritage of
decade
Fix the agreement mistake
decades
show examples
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as trees
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 wildlife
are living
Wrong verb form
live
show examples
 there is most important for our next generation.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion about the topic. It is important to balance both views, but your opinion should be well defined.
coherence cohesion
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a main idea. This will help readers follow your thoughts easily.
task response
Use simple and clear examples to support your points. For instance, explain how a lack of homes affects people's lives in simple terms.
task response
You have made a good attempt to cover both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your thoughts well, indicating your preference for protecting the environment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Ecological benefits
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Sustainable development
  • Eco-friendly building materials
  • Green architecture
  • Government policies
  • Urban sprawl
  • Infrastructure
  • Smart planning
  • Agricultural lands
  • Rural areas
  • Population growth
  • Environmental sensitivity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: