Due to a more sedentary lifestyle, children in developed nations have higher levels of obesity compared to previous generations. What problems does this cause and what are the possible solutions?
The levels of
in children are higher compared to previous
. The problem ,
,is
manyCorrect word choice
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children
days are eating
of candies ,and they are
settingUse the right word
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all day at
homes Fix the agreement mistake
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,and all the time
inChange preposition
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the
ipadUse the right word
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. Who can we resolve
thisFix the agreement mistake
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problems ? We
wellUse the right word
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encourage our children to play
out sideUse the right word
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andPunctuation problem
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if we have
anCorrect article usage
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emptyCorrect word choice
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timePunctuation problem
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we play with them
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Your essay has some ideas, but you need to explain them more. Talk about more problems caused by obesity and give specific solutions. For example, you can mention unhealthy food choices, lack of exercise, and how to encourage exercise and healthy eating.
Try to use full sentences and make clear links between your ideas. For example, after saying children eat a lot of candies, you can say 'this leads to obesity'.
Make sure to write a good opening and closing sentence. Start by explaining the problem of obesity and finish with a strong solution.
You have identified some important issues regarding obesity in children, like unhealthy eating habits and a lack of physical activity.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general