At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young people, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years, in many countries, the number of young
people
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is much higher than the number of older
people
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. There are some positive and negative sides to
this
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present issue.
However
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, I believe, advantages of having young
people
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are stronger than the disadvantages, especially if the country uses
this
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opportunity wisely. Let's talk about some advantages of
this
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issue.
Firstly
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, a large number of young
people
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can increase economic growth. Young
people
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are usually more active, quick to learn, and open to new ideas. They have enough knowledge about modern technology, which leads to a vital role in sectors like digital marketing, IT firms, and business innovations.
Secondly
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, Young
people
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are generally healthier and stronger. So, they have no need to take a medical checkup regularly.
This
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reduces pressure on hospitals and the healthcare systems.
As a result
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, the government can spend more on education, construction, and job sectors.
On the other hand
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, too many young
people
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can
also
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cause problems like unemployment. It is a major problem nowadays. There is a rise in poverty
as well as
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in crime.
In addition
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, many young
people
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lack maturity, experience and skills for doing complex jobs. These affect some innovative business sectors.
To sum up
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,
although
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,
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apply
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there are some challenges of having young
people
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, I believe
,
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apply
show examples
the advantages are more powerful. With good planning, countries can turn
this
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into a great advantage.

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task achievement
Make your main points clearer by explaining them a little more. For example, you could give specific examples of economic growth that young people bring.
coherence and cohesion
Link your paragraphs better. Use phrases like 'In addition' or 'Moreover' to connect points. This will help the reader follow your ideas more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Try to strengthen your conclusion. Instead of just saying there are advantages, restate why they are important or how they can be achieved.
task achievement
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction, which is a great start!
task achievement
You provided a good balance of advantages and disadvantages, showing you understand both sides of the issue.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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