IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and repo fling the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of visitors to a variety of art galleries in 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and repo fling the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 bar provides key information about the
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different museums , the units are measured in the count of millions of people
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
show examples
,
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 clear from the bar that the
louvre
Fix capitalization
Louvre
show examples
 museum is the most popular and has the highest
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitores
Correct your spelling
visitors
,
whereas
Linking Words
 state
hemitag
Correct your spelling
heritage
 museums
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the
less
Use the right word
lowest
show examples
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitores
Correct your spelling
visitors
 in 2011
Linking Words
according
Fix capitalization
According
show examples
 to what is
shown
Punctuation problem
shown,
show examples
 I noticed that
frane
Correct your spelling
France
 was the
domenant
Correct your spelling
dominant
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals who visited the museum
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
Use synonyms
number
Correct article usage
a number
show examples
 of 9
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
after
Change preposition
by
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 6 million
then
Linking Words
 the
united kingdom
Fix capitalization
United Kingdom
show examples
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 5.8 respectively
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
those
Correct pronoun usage
These
show examples
countreas
Correct your spelling
countries
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the highest
numbers
Use synonyms
becouse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the population and the
number
Use synonyms
 of tourists
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
 terms of
Correct article usage
the national
show examples
national museum
Fix capitalization
National Museum
show examples
 of
Fix capitalization
Korea
show examples
korea
Add a comma
korea,
show examples
 half
Use synonyms
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of visitors combared to
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
state
Fix the agreement mistake
States
show examples
 of
amerca
Correct your spelling
America
,
while
Linking Words
 Spain and Russia
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 approximately the same
number
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 3 million
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in 2011

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 7 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • fluctuations
  • peak season
  • off-peak season
  • trend
  • visitor demographics
  • attendance
  • special exhibition
  • promotional campaign
  • footfall
  • gallery capacity
  • cultural attraction
  • art enthusiasts
  • exhibit
  • statistical comparison
  • tourist attraction
What to do next:
Look at other essays: