IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?​

Science
Use synonyms
, a powerful force that has shaped the world as we know it, serves a multitude of purposes.
However
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, the most important aim of
science
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, in my view, is to enhance
people
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's
lives
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.
This
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 essay will delve into the reasons why I firmly believe in
this
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 statement,
while
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also
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 acknowledging potential
counter - arguments
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counterarguments
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. First and foremost,
science
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 has
revolutionized
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revolutionised
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 healthcare, which is a fundamental aspect of
people
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's
well - being
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well-being
show examples
. Through scientific research, numerous
life - threatening
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life-threatening
show examples
 diseases that once caused widespread death and suffering have been effectively treated or even eradicated.
For example
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, the discovery of antibiotics
such
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 as penicillin by Alexander Fleming in 1928 has saved countless
lives
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 by combating bacterial infections. Vaccines have
also
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 played a crucial role in preventing the spread of infectious diseases like smallpox, which was declared eradicated in 1980. These scientific achievements have not only extended human lifespan but
also
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 improved the quality of life for millions around the world.
In addition
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,
science
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 has transformed the way we live by enhancing our daily conveniences. The development of modern technologies,
such
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 as smartphones, the Internet, and home appliances, has made our
lives
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 more efficient and enjoyable. With a smartphone in hand, we can access a vast amount of information, communicate with
people
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 across the globe, and even perform financial transactions. Smart home devices allow us to control the temperature, lighting, and security of our homes with just a few taps on our phones. These technological advancements have made our
lives
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 more comfortable and connected.
Moreover
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,
science
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 has contributed to environmental sustainability, which is essential for the long - term well - being of humanity. Scientists are constantly researching ways to develop renewable energy sources,
such
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 as solar, wind, and hydro power, to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels and mitigate the effects of climate change. By finding solutions to environmental problems,
science
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 helps to ensure a clean and healthy planet for future generations.
However
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, some may argue that the most important aim of
science
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 is to expand human knowledge for its own sake.
While
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 it is true that the pursuit of knowledge is a noble
endeavor
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endeavour
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, without the application of
this
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 knowledge to improve
people
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's
lives
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, it may remain theoretical and have limited practical value.
For instance
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, theoretical physics may uncover profound truths about the universe, but if these findings cannot be translated into practical applications that benefit society, they may not have a direct impact on
people
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's daily
lives
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. In conclusion,
although
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science
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 has various aims, improving
people
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's
lives
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 should be its most important one. The advancements in healthcare, technology, and environmental sustainability that
science
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 has brought about have had a profound and positive impact on humanity. By focusing on
this
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 aim,
science
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 can continue to address the most pressing challenges facing our society and create a better future for all.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea related to your argument.
task achievement
Try to include a more diverse range of examples to support your points.
introduction
Your introduction clearly states your position and outlines the essay's purpose.
relevant examples
You used good examples like antibiotics and technology to support your points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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