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Writing Samples
Band 5

The bar chart provided information about the drinking habits of USA people by age. Summarize the informationa nd by selecting and reporting the main feature.

The bar chart provided information about the drinking habits of USA people by age. Summarize the informationa nd by selecting and reporting the main feature.
The bar graph illustrates the details about the Americans who have drinking habits at different
Use synonyms
age
Fix the agreement mistake
ages
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
, interestingly, the largest population of
age
Use synonyms
gropus
Correct your spelling
groups
 16-24 and 35-44 do not drink.
In contrast
Linking Words
, there are few youngsters
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
old aged
Use the right word
old-aged
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people
Use synonyms
 are heavy drinkers. After
analyzing
Use the right word
analysing
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 the bar chart, it can be seen that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the USA have above 50
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 citizens of 25-34 and 45-54
age
Use synonyms
 who
never
Verb problem
have never
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 been
a
Correct article usage
apply
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drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
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, but
people
Use synonyms
 of the same
age
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 heavy
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
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 20% and 30 % respectively.
Also
Linking Words
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 70 to 90
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
Use synonyms
people of
Correct word order
of people
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 mid
age
Use synonyms
gropu
Correct your spelling
group
has
Verb problem
who are
show examples
 light drinkers.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, 10
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
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 of youngsters and old
people
Use synonyms
 are heavy
drinker
Fix the agreement mistake
drinkers
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.
Similarly
Linking Words
, 10
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 from
25
Correct article usage
the 25
show examples
-34 and 35-44
age
Use synonyms
gropu
Correct your spelling
groups
 include ex-drinkers. The
old aged
Correct word choice
elderly
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people
Use synonyms
 between 65 to 74
Use synonyms
age
Use the right word
have
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 has highest population of ex-drinkers
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is 60
Use synonyms
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
.

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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