Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree?

Most
parents
Use synonyms
put too much
burdens
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burden
show examples
on
children
Use synonyms
's
academicly
Correct your spelling
academics
. I believe there are many reasons for that.
Firstly
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,
parents
Use synonyms
tend to
enrole
Correct your spelling
enrol
their
children
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to
Change preposition
in
show examples
some extra courses
beside
Fix the agreement mistake
besides
show examples
their major curriculum. It means that these students have to gain knowledge in many different fields,
such
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as
robotic
Replace the word
robotics
show examples
, a foreign language, or even dancing, which can lead to spending more hours on learning new areas. These students are already struggling with their curriculum, so learning another subject would be challenging for them. The second reason is that most
parents
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might expect their
children
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to gain high grades at school.
As a result
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, school girls and boys may have to study more to fulfil their
parent's
Check wording
parents'
show examples
wishe
Correct your spelling
wishes
.
Similarly
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, I think
patents
Correct word choice
that patents
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drawing a comparison between their own child and their peers
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
burden
Correct article usage
a burden
show examples
. The key reason for
this
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phenomenon is that most
parents
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ignore the fundamental role of talent in their
children
Use synonyms
's success. Consider the case of a boy who is not gifted in painting, but is
fored
Correct your spelling
forced
by his mother to paint as professionally as his talented friend, which can be stressful for him.
Moreover
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, social media
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
many
parents
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to be aware of how other
children
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achieve success. Because of that, they might encourage their
children
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to achieve the same goals in their lives, which might be
in contrast
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with their
child
Check wording
children's
show examples
goals.
As a consequence
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, these
children
Use synonyms
would
be again
Correct word order
again be
show examples
under pressure. In conclusion,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
totally agree that many
parents
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put their
children
Use synonyms
in pressured situations, by
puring
Correct your spelling
putting
too much burden on them or comparing them with peers.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and make it strong throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points, as this makes your writing stronger.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion, which is good.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • extracurricular activities
  • prosperous future
  • societal standards
  • peer competition
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • unfulfilled ambitions
  • resource availability
  • opportunity exploitation
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