IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The environment changes rapidly because humans are destroying nature to meet their needs. Discuss this cause of environmental change and suggest some solutions for this problem.

There is no denying the fact that the ecosystem changes badly over time
as a result
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 of people's work.
This
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 essay will discuss the causes of
this
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 phenomenon and recommend
spme
Correct your spelling
some
 potential solutions to tackle
this
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 problem.
To begin
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 with, there are many reasons for the significant change in our
plante
Correct your spelling
planet
.
Firstly
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, greenhouse
gases emission
Fix the agreement mistake
gas emissions
show examples
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 come from some transportation ,like cars and
airplanes
Use the right word
aeroplanes
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 are
contriputed
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to air pollution.
In other words
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, when nations
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
 them, they will affect the
atmosphare
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
 negatively without
realizing
Use the right word
realising
show examples
 that.
In addition
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, factories
have
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a big role play on destroying nature.
For example
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, the waste that comes from them
are
Verb problem
accounts
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 farmed
thirty six
Use the right word
thirty-six
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 per cent of the total waste around the world
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 means it is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major reason. In terms of, soulations, the government should work to provide alternative transportation that use green energy, it is
also
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 possible to say that many countries are started to use clean energy,
such
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 as Japanese, they have used electrical energy to operate their factories' machines,
also
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 most of their buses and cars have used it.
Moreover
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, the United Nations must agree to set strict laws to protect our environment.
For instance
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, they have to put taxes on establishments that produce
wast
Use the right word
waste
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 or harmful gases ,
also
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 use
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 fines to support environmental
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
, and spend them on
Research
Correct article usage
the Research
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 and Development Sector, who try to treat and enhance nature. In conclusion, there are many factories that harm and
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 to
destoying
Correct your spelling
destruction
 ecosystem. It is
also
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 true that when people work together in
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 way , they can
keep
Verb problem
certainly preserve
show examples
 nature
certainly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
.

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task response
Your introduction should be clearer. You should state the causes and solutions more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs have a clear main idea and support this idea with examples. Organize your ideas logically.
coherence and cohesion
Check for spelling errors and grammar mistakes, this can affect the overall score.
task response
You have identified some important causes of environmental change.
task response
You attempted to provide solutions to the problem, showing awareness of possible actions.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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