the diagram shows bees produce honey

the diagram shows bees produce honey
IELTS Writing Task Chart for the diagram shows bees produce honey
The diagram illustrates the process of
honey
Use synonyms
making by which bees.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are five stages in the production of raw
honey
Use synonyms
. The process begins with the swarm of bees
built
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
a
hive
Use synonyms
and ends with
honey
Use synonyms
to be collected.
First,
Linking Words
honeybees have to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
a container.
This
Linking Words
is called a
hive
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it consists of separately built
cells
Use synonyms
.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the swarm of forager honeybees leaves their
hive
Use synonyms
to search for certain flowers. When they find a suitable flower, they collect its nectar, which is used to make
honey
Use synonyms
. The nectar is taken back to the
hive
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
the production process can begin.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is put into the
cells
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
,
following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the nectar
is need
Wrong verb form
needs
show examples
to be
colling
Use the right word
cooling
show examples
down. In order to do
this
Linking Words
, bees fan the filled-nectar
cells
Use synonyms
using their wings.
As a result
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
effort evaporates the water that
contain
Wrong verb form
is contained
show examples
in these
cells
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
finally
Linking Words
, the
honey
Use synonyms
starts to be collected into jars.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, hive, cells with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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