IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think robots can improve human life in future, while others think robots may affect society in a bad way. Discuss both view points and give your opinion.

Some
people
Use synonyms
 think
robots
Use synonyms
 can develop human
life
Use synonyms
 in
future
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 others think
robots
Use synonyms
 may influence society in a bad way. In
this
Linking Words
 essay,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both sides of the statement and give my own opinion.
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 strongly agree that
robots
Use synonyms
 lead
Change preposition
to the
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 better
future
Use synonyms
life
Use synonyms
. Because artificial intellengies are getting
strongly developing
Correct word order
developing strongly
show examples
 day by day. I believe it's a blessing in disguise.
Humans
Fix the agreement mistake
Human
show examples
life
Use synonyms
 will be easier so that we can enjoy
ourselfs
Correct your spelling
our
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, server
robots
Use synonyms
 are still improving in
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 developed countries
such
Linking Words
 as China and Japan. I can tell the work of
server
Correct article usage
the server
show examples
 will be destroyed by the robot and will be redundant
hundreds
Change preposition
for hundreds
show examples
 of
waiter
Fix the agreement mistake
waiters
show examples
 or
waitress
Fix the agreement mistake
waitresses
show examples
. So in the
future
Use synonyms
, the
robots
Use synonyms
definietly
Correct your spelling
definitely
 take the lead
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 human basic
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as server, teller of
bank
Correct article usage
a bank
show examples
 and attendant.
In addition
Linking Words
, human
life
Use synonyms
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
 easier because if you can't diagnose your
symptony
Correct your spelling
symptoms
even
Punctuation problem
, even
show examples
 some
doctors
Punctuation problem
doctors,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 what if
some
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 robot
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
 five
minute
Fix the agreement mistake
minutes
show examples
to know the answer
correct
Replace the word
correctly
show examples
. So maybe you didn't waste time
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 you can
curve
Verb problem
curb
show examples
 your
deseas immediatly
Correct your spelling
desire immediately
. I think that the
robots
Use synonyms
 take part in human
basis
Check wording
society
show examples
 in the
future
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 if it
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
 growing huge
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 human
Use synonyms
life
Punctuation problem
life,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it may
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bother society because of
people
Use synonyms
's
lazyness
Correct your spelling
laziness
, regression,
humanness
Replace the word
humanity
show examples
 and even live relationship of human
.
Check wording
relationships.
show examples
 If the technology
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
 as fast as
Correct article usage
a racehorse
show examples
racehorse
Punctuation problem
racehorse,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 maybe some
people
Use synonyms
 gradually get lazy, even
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 do daily activities
such
Linking Words
 as
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 out the trash and
moping
Use the right word
mopping
show examples
 the floor. In conclusion, it's
advantage the
Correct word order
the advantage
show examples
knowing
Change preposition
of knowing
show examples
 the diagnosis directly so that they can treat their
desease
Correct your spelling
disease
 directly. Even though some
people
Use synonyms
 get
redudant
Correct your spelling
redundant
 and lazy.

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task achievement
Make your introduction clearer by clearly outlining the points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence/ cohesion
Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to help guide the reader through your ideas.
coherence/ cohesion
Check your spelling and grammar, such as ‘intelligences’ and ‘symptoms’ to improve clarity.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion in favor of robots improving life, which is important.
task achievement
You provide examples such as service robots in China and Japan, which make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • repetitive tasks
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • hazardous environments
  • healthcare
  • caregiving
  • job displacement
  • unemployment
  • dependence
  • technology
  • ethical concerns
  • human touch
  • misuse
  • privacy invasion
  • advantage
  • disadvantage
  • improve
  • affect
  • society
  • future
  • viewpoints
  • opinion
What to do next:
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