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Band 6.5

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.

The first table below shows changes in the total population of New York City from 1800 to 2000. The second and third tables show changes in the population of the five districts of the city (Manhattan, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, Staten Island) over the same period.
The tables
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
 the change in
population
Use synonyms
 in New
York
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City
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 and its five
districts
Use synonyms
:
Manhattan
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, Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens, and Staten Island between 1800 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, at a glance, the total
population
Use synonyms
 of New
York
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City
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 increased a lot over the
2000
Correct word choice
past 2000
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 years.
While
Linking Words
Manhattan
Use synonyms
 have the biggest
percent
Use the right word
per cent
show examples
 in the
past
Punctuation problem
past,
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 its percentage
fell
Wrong verb form
has fallen
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 over time.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
population
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 other four
districts
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 became much increased
by
Rephrase
significantly by
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 2000. In 1800, the total
population
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 of New
York
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City
Use synonyms
 was 79,216. Most
people
Use synonyms
 lived in
Manhattan
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, which had 60,515
people
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 (76%). The other four
districts
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 together had only 18,701
people
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 (24%) of the total. By 1900, the
city
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population
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 rose to over 3.437,202.
Manhattan
Use synonyms
's
population
Use synonyms
 increased to 1.850.093
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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this
Linking Words
percent
Replace the word
percentage
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 dropped to 54%. The other
districts
Use synonyms
 grew as well
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
also
Linking Words
 total
population
Use synonyms
 46%. In 2000, the
population
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 of New
York
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City
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 reached 8,009,185.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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Manhattan
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’s
population
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 slightly decreased to 1.538,093
people
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19
Punctuation problem
, 19
show examples
%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the other
districts
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rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 and their total
population
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 increased to over 6.471.089
people
Use synonyms
 (81%) of the total
population
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, york, city, districts, manhattan, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
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