IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows how fabric is manufactured from bamboo.

The diagram below shows how fabric is manufactured from bamboo.
The diagram illustrates the way in which the
bamboo
Use synonyms
 fabric is produced. It is clearly observed that the process consists of nine stages, beginning with planting
bamboo
Use synonyms
 in the spring and ending with making clothes.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the seeds of
bamboo
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 planted to grow them in the Spring.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
bamboo
Use synonyms
 is harvested by
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 in the Autumn.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the stems of
bamboo
Use synonyms
 are cut into strips through the use of
cutter
Correct article usage
a cutter
show examples
 to remove the leaves. In the subsequent stage, the strips
Use synonyms
bamboo
Change preposition
of bamboo
show examples
 are crushed to produce liquid pulp. Once the liquid pulp has been filtered, long
fibers
Use the right word
fibres
show examples
 are removed from
liquid
Correct article usage
the liquid
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the water and the amine oxide are added to the
soften
Replace the word
softened
show examples
fibers
Use the right word
fibres
show examples
 and mixed
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Next,
Linking Words
the mixed liquid is spun n order to manufacture yarn. Afterwards, the yarn is
weaved
Replace the word
woven
show examples
 by means of
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 machine to make fabric.
Finally
Linking Words
, the clothes and socks and other products are prepared to ready for consumption.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bamboo with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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