IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if the wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Have you ever thought
if
Change preposition
whether
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professionals
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they got their training?
This
Linking Words
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 been the talk of the world since a
cambridge
Fix capitalization
Cambridge
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 article came out revealing that approximately half of
professionals
Use synonyms
 do not
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they got their training
from
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apply
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.
This
Linking Words
lead
Replace the word
led
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 to
people
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 arguing about
weather
Use the right word
whether
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 these
people
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 in the
country
Use synonyms
 where they got training or they are free to choose. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 will discuss
about
Change preposition
apply
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these two
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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adding
Punctuation problem
, adding
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 my own opinion. On one hand,
people
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 suppose that
professionals
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 get their education from their
country
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 for at least 7 years , covering up the
tution
Correct your spelling
tuition
 fees and
training
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training,
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 as it is one of the
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
country's
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 rights
making
Punctuation problem
, making
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 the individuals
work
Use synonyms
 for their
country
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 .
On the other hand
Linking Words
, other
people
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 belive that
professionals
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 have their own right to choose where to
work
Use synonyms
 and for who which some
people
Use synonyms
 calls it (freedom)
moreover
Linking Words
 the billionaire mark zuckerberg which is standing with (freedom) have illustrated that the "
professionals
Use synonyms
 did their hard
work
Use synonyms
 to achive these titles and nobody have the right to control them even if you had huge imact on them". From my
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
, I stand with (freedom) which actually
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 more sense than making a
proffessional
Correct your spelling
professional
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
 for you because you educated him. In a nutshell,
people
Use synonyms
 have their own opinion and their own
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 we should not put them in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong place
even
Punctuation problem
, even
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 if it
well
Verb problem
would well
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 benefit my
country
Use synonyms
 for several years.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines both views and your opinion. Also, improve your conclusion by summarizing the key points more clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help your essay flow better and improve understanding.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific countries or statistics related to professionals working abroad.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear, which shows your personal stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You attempt to engage with the audience by starting with a question and a statistic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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