IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarket in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is no doubt that supermarkets in the world invade the
business
Use synonyms
 field and decrease the chance of success for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small, local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
. There are many
reasons
Punctuation problem
reasons,
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depends
Wrong verb form
depending
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 on some studies
Punctuation problem
, what
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what
Correct word choice
that
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 I will write about
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in
this
Linking Words
 essay. In the beginning, the large groceries and markets are more attractive and
desireable
Correct your spelling
desirable
 for the consumers because there are many options of items, foods, drinks, and tools.
Also
Linking Words
, they provide a wide range of prices
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is
essential
Correct article usage
an essential
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 reason to keep in mind.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a study conducted in 2023 showed that shops in many countries
make
Verb problem
do
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 a great job in providing outstanding quality,services and
get
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
 a high level of people's satisfaction.
Moreover
Linking Words
, some local
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 have closed after
short
Correct article usage
a short
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 duration
due to
Linking Words
 sales
defeceincy
Correct your spelling
deficiency
,
supermarkets
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarket
show examples
competeiton
Correct your spelling
competition
, and no
costumers
Use the right word
customer
show examples
 visits.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, local trade is very important and essential for the
economical
Correct word choice
economic
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 situation .
For instance
Linking Words
, citizens have supported the locals to take
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advantage of the
competetion
Correct your spelling
competition
 and save communities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
small
Use synonyms
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 are no less important than others. In my opinion, I really agree that
supermarkets
Fix the agreement mistake
supermarket
show examples
 development and
exapnsion
Correct your spelling
expansion
 for sure will
badly
Rephrase
certainly
show examples
 affect the local markets and small bussiness depends
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the studies I have mentioned above.

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task response
Make sure to have a clear introduction that states your main idea. It's important for the reader to know your opinion clearly at the beginning.
task response
Use clear examples to support your ideas. Try to explain how these examples connect to your main ideas better.
coherence cohesion
Organize your paragraphs better. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea that relates directly to your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to connect sentences and ideas better. This will help your essay flow more smoothly.
task response
You presented a clear opinion about supermarkets and local businesses, which is good.
task response
Your essay shows that you understand the impact of supermarkets on local businesses.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • community identity
  • personalized customer service
  • strong relationships
  • wide variety of goods
  • lower prices
  • community spirit
  • local events
  • sponsorships
  • cultural heritage
  • homogenize
  • logistics
  • carbon footprint
  • inequality
  • low-income individuals
What to do next:
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