IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many aspectof the way people dress today are influenced by global fasion trends. how has global fashion become such a strong influence on people;s lives? do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Dweller's modern lifestyle is associated with relying on hot
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends for choosing
clothds
Correct your spelling
clothes
. I believe
this
Linking Words
 is influenced by
sense
Correct article usage
the sense
show examples
 of being good enough criteria in contemporary societies
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 despite the fact that it can
make
Verb problem
bring
show examples
 advantages for nations,
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 assume it is a harmful development. Having an admirable and acceptable
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 is one of
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 crucial factors in social relationships and is tied with being up-to-date and following
trends
Punctuation problem
trends,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means relying on
fashion
Use synonyms
 as the most acceptable criteria in a nutshell. Since influencers and celebrities have been carrying the image of being good and admirable enough
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
fashion
Use synonyms
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 being advertised by them constantly, citizens choose
relying
Wrong verb form
to rely
show examples
 on
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 assured approach to dress
;
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
 on what is presented by the most admirable group of society.
Linking Words
for
Fix capitalization
For
show examples
instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 putting on a long-sleeved shirt was
some thing
Use the right word
something
show examples
 rare and ridiculous in the Iranian nation
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 since celebrities started putting it on from a famous brand, dwellers redefined it as an interesting cloth
that is
Linking Words
 associated with the sense of being cool and good enough. I admit
fashion
Use synonyms
 trend has
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 role in
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 development of nations by creating a constant circle of demand and product that never stops, but I think it can be
unnegligibely hurmful
Correct your spelling
negligibly harmful
 for our
futur
Correct your spelling
future
 generation since it does not move on the line of sustainability. A vast variety of resources
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
show examples
 to be wasted to support just one
fashion
Use synonyms
 trend.
This
Linking Words
 harmfulness is
doubbled
Correct your spelling
doubled
 when it comes to short-term usage of any
fashion
Use synonyms
 product. In conclusion, I
assum
Correct your spelling
assume
 dwellers follow
fashion
Use synonyms
 trends to make sure their
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 is admirable and good enough, but I think we do not need to rely on
this
Linking Words
 means for our inner peace. Since it
dissipate
Correct subject-verb agreement
dissipates
show examples
 our
planet
Check wording
planet's
show examples
 resources and is not
far-sighting
Use the right word
far-sighted
show examples
.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. This helps the reader understand your position from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your ideas better.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling mistakes. This can make your writing clearer and easier to read.
task achievement
Add more examples to support your points. This shows you understand the topic deeply and makes your argument stronger.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and you express it well in your conclusion.
task achievement
Your examples from real life, like the long-sleeved shirt in Iran, show good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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