Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

The public thinks that retired people can extend their possibilities to continue their

job

Check wording

careers

show examples

. From my perspective, I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

opportunity as long as they have suitable conditions.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain three reasons why the elderly need to continue working.

Firstly

Linking Words

, some of the elderly had experienced that still demanding. There are some job opportunities for their skills and knowledge.

For instance

Linking Words

, they can be teachers or trainers for young adults,

also

Linking Words

they can collaborate with younger employees as a supervisor.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, young professionals need the elderly's wisdom to manage their jobs, so that they can be mentors for their juniors.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the elderly can get benefits to maintain their physical and psychological

health

Use synonyms

having

Verb problem

engaging in

show examples

activities. The elderly can avoid stress, and they can

have

Verb problem

engage in

show examples

an exercise

that is

Linking Words

good for their

health

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, fairly proportions workload for the elderly will

helps

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

them to keep their body and mind well.

However

Linking Words

, they need to limit the workloads and work hours.

Thirdly

Linking Words

, the elderly can get financial benefits with extra money

besides

Linking Words

their pension money. Sometimes the pension fund is not enough for living

Check wording

expenses.

show examples

As a result

Linking Words

, the pensioner needs to find extra money for their monthly allowance. It will help them to avoid debt and desperation, which is not good for their

health

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, they can improve their quality of life.

To sum up

Linking Words

, old people need to continue to work wisely as long as suitable for their conditions related to

health

Use synonyms

and ability. There are some benefits that they can get physically and psychologically

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

however

Linking Words

, there must be limitations on workloads and work hours.

muh.atho

Jul 12, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your main argument. Avoid mixing ideas in the paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader. This helps in understanding the main idea of each section.

task achievement

Make sure your conclusion summarizes all main points without adding new information.

task achievement

Include more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points, such as statistics or specific studies about older workers.

task achievement

You give clear reasons why older people should work, which makes your argument strong.

coherence and cohesion

The essay is well-structured, with clear paragraphs for each idea.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past, knowledge was contained in books. Nowadays, knowledge is uploaded to the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing to day. What are the causes of global warming and measures can goverments and individuals take to tackle the issue