IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australia town

The diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australia town
The given diagram illustrates
collection
Correct article usage
the collection
show examples
 of rainwater for drinking purposes in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 4 steps in turning rainwater into drinking
water
Use synonyms
:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 gathering, cleaning, storing and
addition
Correct article usage
the addition
show examples
 of chemicals.
Water
Use synonyms
 from roofs is
preproccessed
Correct your spelling
preprocessed
 and returned
back
Rephrase
apply
show examples
into houses in a consumable form. First of all, the droplets are gathered using drains on roofs. Every drain connects with the main pipeline, through which all
water
Use synonyms
 flows into the filter. After that, it is contemporary stored in a
water
Use synonyms
 tank, awaiting
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next treatment. In the following container,
water
Use synonyms
 is disinfected by chemicals. Now,
water
Use synonyms
 is ready to use, and it is streamed to people. Another pipeline is in use for
water
Use synonyms
 supply, which goes
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 every house as well.
Finally
Linking Words
, people can access drinking
water
Use synonyms
 from their taps

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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