IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have been doing some voluntary work to help your local community. However, now you are unable to continue doing this work. write a letter to the manager of the organisation where you have been working. in your letter . describe the work you have been doing . explain why you can no longer do this work . recommend another person who is interested in the work

#work #community #manager #organisation #person
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Dear Mr. John I hope
this
 letter finds you well. I am Sara, one of the members of voluntary work in the east of the city. I am writing
this
 letter to inform you unfortunately, I am not able to continue my co-operation
due to
 one vital problem. I am responsible for looking after Mr Mike and Mrs Esmith in case of setting doctor appointments and managing their medication. They are highly respectful of me but they are utterly disabled. Especially Mr Mike who can not use even a wheelchair.I have done it for about three years.
Moreover
,if I had enough time, I would do something about their garden and house chores.
Last
 month,I realised that I had to have surgery as soon as possible and surgery, I should stay at home and just rest for about four months. I consulted with my doctor and said even after four months, I am not allowed to do difficult and physically demanding activities.I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
got upset. Especially for two old people whose lives entirely depend on me. I spoke with my sister about my concern. She is very kind and
also
, she is a nurse that can be helpful.
In addition
, she is younger and stronger than me. I am sure she would be the best choice for taking over
this
 duty.
Furthermore
, she is an excellent chef and Knows many healthy delicious foods for cooking. If you agree
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 her, please tell me to send her identification. I am really sad about
this
 unpredictable matter and I hope my sister can attract your attention. I am looking forward to your letter. Sincerely S
Submitted by Maral.qanbarii1992 on

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task achievement
While the content effectively covers all points, focusing on varied sentence structures and vocabulary could enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence cohesion
Improving the flow between the different sections of the letter, particularly between describing the work and explaining why you won't continue, will improve coherence.
task achievement
The letter maintains a formal and sincere tone appropriate for the context.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are clearly segmented into paragraphs, each addressing a specific point from the prompt.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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