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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram illustrates the process of how bamboo fabric is made.

The diagram illustrates the process of how bamboo fabric is made.
The diagram illustrates the process of how
bamboo
Use synonyms
fabric
Use synonyms
 is made.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process consists of nine stages, beginning with
plant
Replace the word
planting
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bamboo
Use synonyms
 trees and ending with different types of clothes made with
this
Linking Words
fabric
Use synonyms
. In the initial stage,
bamboo
Use synonyms
 plants
in
Verb problem
grow in
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Correct article usage
a
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specific season
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is spring.
Then
Linking Words
, farmers wait for the
bamboo
Use synonyms
 seeds to grow and start harvesting them in autumn.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, the
bamboo
Use synonyms
 trees
carried
Verb problem
were carried
show examples
 out and cut into strips using a sharp knife. After that, to make liquid pulp, strips are crushed into small pieces and filtered them by separating long fibres from the liquid
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 order to soften fibres, they add water and amine oxide.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, they spin the
fabric
Use synonyms
 into balls
froms
Correct your spelling
from
.
Then
Linking Words
, they weave to make
fabric
Use synonyms
 and send it to customers.
Finally
Linking Words
, the process ends with different types of handmade clothes ,
such
Linking Words
 as T-shirts and socks.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words bamboo, fabric with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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