Some people say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give yor own opinion.

It is believed by some individuals that
sports
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have a significant role in society.
In
Change preposition
On
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contrary
Correct article usage
the contrary
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, other people think that it is not
mmore
Correct your spelling
more
than just an activity for leisure. I believe that
sports
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
important in our community.
Initially
Linking Words
, playing
sports
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
as basketball, swimming, volleyball, boxing, and many more was considered a
past time
Use the right word
pastime
show examples
for some.
However
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,
due to
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our natural competitive behaviour, it became an eventful activity. Communities started to train individuals with
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
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to compete in local and international
competions
Correct your spelling
competitions
. Just like in Korea and America, athletes
are
Correct pronoun usage
They are
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now receiving increased support from the government. They are
also
Linking Words
acknowledged for the pride they bring to their respective countries and often
receives
Correct subject-verb agreement
receive
show examples
plaque
Correct article usage
a plaque
show examples
of appreciation for their contributions.
On the other hand
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, some people perceived
sports
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as a
play-thing
Use the right word
plaything
show examples
only. These individuals think that there are more important matters that citizens should focus
such
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as education and office jobs. An example of
this
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would be
,
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apply
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school achievers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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prospers
Correct subject-verb agreement
prosper
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in their academic excellence. These
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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of people often
puts
Wrong verb form
put
show examples
emphasis on the relevance of
sports
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the actual work. In conclusion,
sports
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can either be a job description or a leisure activity
,
Punctuation problem
;
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it really depends on how an individual perceives it. I believe that appreciating and acknowledging the engagements we have through
sports
Use synonyms
is really important and plays a vital role in our society.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly outline the main points in your introduction, so the reader knows what to expect.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your ideas by using linking words such as 'however,' 'on the other hand,' and 'furthermore.'
task achievement
Add more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an understanding of both viewpoints on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion summarizes your opinion well and relates back to the main topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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