IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is best to live in a horizontal city while others think of a vertical city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

While
Linking Words
 living in the horizontal
city
Use synonyms
 is beneficial
orvertical
Correct your spelling
vertical
city
Use synonyms
 remains a controversial issue. I personally support the idea of living
it
Use the right word
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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horizontal cities because of less
population
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
 pollutionand almost
totally
Punctuation problem
totally,
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hoses
Use the right word
homes
show examples
 have their own garden. On the one hand, living in the vertical
city
Use synonyms
 has two main
disadvantagesone
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
 of which is
over
Use the right word
overpopulation
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population
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of
city
Use synonyms
 is full of skyscrapers
Punctuation problem
, andthe
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andthe
Correct your spelling
and the
city
Use synonyms
 line is not horizontal. Despite flats where just one or two
familieslive
Correct your spelling
families
 there, a lot of families live in the high-rise buildings
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is lead
Wrong verb form
leads
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toover
Correct your spelling
to
Use synonyms
population
Use the right word
overpopulation
show examples
.
This
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population
Use synonyms
 need a wide range of
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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such
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 as schools,hospitals and recreational facilities that governments should allocate
Correct article usage
a budgetand
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budgetand
Correct your spelling
budget and
 build
such
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 infrastructure. The other reason is
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
.
Although
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thismodernized
Correct your spelling
this modernised
city
Use synonyms
 line looks magnificent and reflects
high
Correct article usage
a high
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 technological view
ofthe
Correct your spelling
of the
city
Use synonyms
,
air
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pollution
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 caused by cars is a
series
Use the right word
serious
show examples
 problem in these cities.
Factorieswhere
Correct your spelling
Factories were
 built to meet
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
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jobs requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
job requirements
show examples
also
Linking Words
 face
Use synonyms
city
Correct article usage
the city
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 with
this
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 issue.
Becauseof
Correct your spelling
Because of
 these problems
living
Punctuation problem
, living
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 in the vertical
city
Use synonyms
 may not be desired for a widerange of
people
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including
Punctuation problem
, including
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 me.
On the other hand
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, horizontal
city
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 life is mentally beneficial.Almost all houses in the
city
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 have
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 own garden.
People
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 living in
thesehouses
Correct your spelling
these houses
 spend their free time
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
gardening by which
Verb problem
allows they
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they
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 would be able to
freshtheir
Correct your spelling
freshen their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 and
charge
Verb problem
recharge
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 their batteries. Children
also
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 would play in the gardenand it seems that there is no need for more recreational facilities. Another
benefitis
Correct your spelling
benefit is
 that there is less
air
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pollution
Use synonyms
. Because
people
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 have
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
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 cars and due
toits
Correct your spelling
to its
population
Use synonyms
,
less
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer
show examples
 factories are needed. Which
is meant
Wrong verb form
means
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 that there is no
existenceof
Correct your spelling
existence of
pollution
Use synonyms
 factors. In conclusion, some
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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individual
Punctuation problem
individual,
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Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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 like to live
invertical
Correct your spelling
vertical
city
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
 me are
not tend
Correct word order
tend not
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 to live in these
citiesdue
Correct your spelling
cities due
 to
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
over
Use the right word
overpopulation
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population
Use synonyms
 and
air
Use synonyms
pollution
Use synonyms
. Living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
horizontal
citiesare
Correct your spelling
cities is
 more desirable because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lack of these problems and having
garden
Correct article usage
a garden
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Improve grammar and punctuation for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Make clear links between your ideas to improve flow.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to always begin a new paragraph for new ideas.
task achievement
You presented both views clearly.
task achievement
Your conclusion attempts to summarize your opinion well.
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