IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in an apartment. Are there more advantages than disavdantages to living in a house compared with living in an apartment

Choice
Correct article usage
The choice
show examples
 of
accommodation
Use synonyms
 varies with
people
Use synonyms
. Some individuals have
preference
Correct article usage
a preference
show examples
 for
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
 as their
shelter
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 others like
apartments
Use synonyms
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
flat
Fix the agreement mistake
flats
show examples
.
Privacy
Use synonyms
 and improved mental
health
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been recorded as the most recent benefits of living in a
house
Use synonyms
 as compared to hearing difficulties being common among residents of
apartment
Correct article usage
an apartment
show examples
. There are numerous benefits of having a
house
Use synonyms
 as
primary
Correct article usage
a primary
show examples
shelter
Use synonyms
. One of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
 is human
privacy
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the 2020
accommodation
Use synonyms
 law, Houses
sited
Verb problem
are sited
show examples
 in
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
 outside the city centre.
This
Linking Words
 gives the
people
Use synonyms
 living the ability to be at home without having random visitors because of its far distance from
town
Correct article usage
the town
show examples
 centre
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
show examples
 maintaining household
privacy
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
 mental
health
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
apply
show examples
of these
folks
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 enhanced and optimised.
For example
Linking Words
, a study done in Albania in the year 2023 shows that members of a family living
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 a
house
Use synonyms
 are
more happy
Correct word choice
happier
show examples
, peaceful and joyful. These houses are more spacious with spaces like gardens, gyms and table tennis.
Thus
Linking Words
 giving members of the household
opportunity
Correct article usage
the opportunity
show examples
 to play, joke and spend quality
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
time.
Linking Words
Further more
Use the right word
Furthermore
show examples
,
folks
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have
house
Use synonyms
accommodation
Use synonyms
 are more efficient and productive in the
work place
Use the right word
workplace
show examples
. Statistics
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 shown that
people
Use synonyms
 living in housing
accommodation
Use synonyms
 have better study time and learning of workplace strategies
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 eventually improves their
overall
Linking Words
 work efficacy because houses are sited in
Correct article usage
the outskirt
show examples
outskirt
Fix the agreement mistake
outskirts
show examples
 of town with little or no distractions.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , it is obvious that some
folks
Use synonyms
 have
preference
Correct article usage
a preference
show examples
 for
apartments
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
daily
Correct article usage
the daily
show examples
 times
shelter
Use synonyms
 ranking reports in 2016,
apartments
Use synonyms
 are the 15th ranked in
term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of hygiene and pollution. Being commonly located in easily
accessed
Replace the word
accessible
show examples
 regions like city centres, individuals living in it are mostly exposed to noise.
Study
Correct article usage
A study
show examples
 released in 2019 showed hearing difficulties as the common
health
Use synonyms
challenges
Fix the agreement mistake
challenge
show examples
 of these
people
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 all indications
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
its
Use the right word
it's
show examples
 mostly
due to
Linking Words
 noise pollution.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 there is
endemic
Correct article usage
an endemic
show examples
 of food poisoning recorded amongst Apartment inmates.
For example
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 July 2025
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
the
health
Use synonyms
 Statistics of North Devon hospital showed that
folks
Use synonyms
 living in
apartments
Use synonyms
 suffer more from food poisoning
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of amenities
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 clean water
thereby
Punctuation problem
, thereby
show examples
 reducing
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
overall
Linking Words
 quality of life. In summary, the advantages of living in a
house
Use synonyms
outweighs
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
show examples
 that of
apartments
Use synonyms
. Because having
Use synonyms
house
Correct article usage
a house
show examples
shelter
Use synonyms
 improves
overall
Linking Words
 mental
health
Use synonyms
, work performance
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 upholds individual
privacy
Use synonyms
 and concentration for
studies
Punctuation problem
studies,
show examples
while
Linking Words
apartments
Use synonyms
exposes
Correct subject-verb agreement
expose
show examples
 one to ear problems
such
Linking Words
 as hearing difficulties, lack of water and consequent food
poisoning
Punctuation problem
poisoning,
show examples
thus
Linking Words
 reducing quality of life.

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task response
The introduction should clearly state your opinion on whether living in a house is better than living in an apartment. This helps the reader understand your main point from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one main idea. Start with a topic sentence that clearly states this idea. This will help improve the flow of your essay.
task response
While you have provided some examples, adding more specific examples will strengthen your arguments. This will make your ideas clearer and more convincing.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your use of real-world examples, like studies from Albania and health statistics, adds credibility to your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • privacy
  • space
  • outdoor areas
  • gardens
  • recreational activities
  • customization
  • renovation
  • maintenance
  • responsibilities
  • utilities
  • convenient lifestyle
  • amenities
  • security services
  • upkeep
  • disadvantage
  • urban areas
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