Some people prefer to go to gym and clubs for health care but others say walking and jumping stairs are more effective. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the beginning there is no dobut that doing any kind of sports is a good thing to your health and your own body and keep you to be fit ,
although
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many people assume that gonig to the gym is more benfical than walking , in
this
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essay , i will consider both arguments and explan my stance. On one
hand
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hand,
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the gym has many
actvites
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activities
you can do ,
in other
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words
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words,
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there is
somthing
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something
happing
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happening
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all the time ,
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moreover
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moreover,
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the clubs have a pool to swim and
healthy
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a healthy
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reastarunt
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restaurant
.
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on
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On
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the other hand the walking has
alot
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a lot
of advantages
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. for
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for
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For
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instance
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instance,
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it is free and more easly
and
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, and
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you can take a walk
in
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at
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any time you want
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. for
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for
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For
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example
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example,
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you can go to the park and
take
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get
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some
clear
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fresh
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air. If
i
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I
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want to
comper
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compare
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between the gym and the
walk
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walk,
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i
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I
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would say that it
is depend
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depends
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on
the
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apply
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the cost , the time of work and the
trifcc
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traffic
. In
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conclusion
concluison
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concluison,
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this
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is a complex issue
,
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;
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however
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, I
personalluy
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personally
hold the view that walking is
realy
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really
a nice hobby to do every day , especially in the
eraly
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early
morning before work .

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coherence and cohesion
Use clearer structure with clearer points for each paragraph.
task achievement
Explain your ideas more fully and provide specific examples for better understanding.
task achievement
You show good effort in discussing both views.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
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