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Writing Samples
Band 5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a country between 1987 and 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The line graph
demontrates
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demonstrates
 how many
visitors
Use synonyms
 from abroad attended three different areas - the
coast
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, the
mountains
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 and the
lake
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 - in 20
years
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20-year
period
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 between 1987 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
coast
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 remained the most popular destination throughout the
period
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,
while
Linking Words
 the
lake
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 experienced the most significant fluctuations. The number of
visitors
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 to the
mountains
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 increased steadily but remained the lowest among the three. In 1987, the
coast
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 attracted around 40000 tourists, noticeably more than the
mountains
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 and the
lake
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.
Although
Linking Words
 visitor numbers to the
coast
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 declined slightly by 1992, they reached 70000 in 2007, thereby maintaining their leading position. The
lake
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, despite starting with the fewest
visitors
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 in 1987, experienced the most rapid growth. Visitor numbers rose dramatically to peak at 75000 in 2002.
However
Linking Words
, unlike the
coast
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, the number of
lake
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visitors
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 fell significantly to 50000 by 2007, making it the second most visited area by the end of the
period
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. In comparison, the
mountains
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 experienced a steady and gradual increase over the 20 years. Visitor numbers rose from 20000 in 1987 to around 35000 in 2007.
While
Linking Words
 the growth rate was modest compared to the
lake
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 and the
coast
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, it was more consistent and without any major fluctuations. The
lake
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 surpassed the
mountains
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 in popularity in 1992 and maintained that advantage for the rest of the
period
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, coast, mountains, lake, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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