Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

Educational learning centres having
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
academic excellence only
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
vocational trainings are learnt at
home
Punctuation problem
home,
show examples
has become a common debate in recent times. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
point
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
I believe that
both
Use synonyms
literal
Use the right word
literary
show examples
and domestic studies should be taught in school
due to
Linking Words
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
positive effect on Child development and
life
Use synonyms
survival.
This
Linking Words
would be explained in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
paragraphs. 
Firstly
Linking Words
, growth and intelligence quotient
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
recored
Correct your spelling
recorded
high
Change preposition
as high
show examples
in children
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
obtain
both
Use synonyms
academic and skill
acquisation
Correct your spelling
acquisition
from formal settings.
This
Linking Words
is
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
these sectors have trained professionals that teach basic knowledge using outlined principles and patterns
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
makes learning and mastering easier
Linking Words
thus
Punctuation problem
, thus
show examples
improving development.
For Instance
Linking Words
, studies in 2020
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
that folks
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
learnt
both
Use synonyms
domestic
skills
Use synonyms
and academic books from
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
have
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
intelligence quotient
byb
Correct your spelling
by
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
of 18.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
shows the need to
Use synonyms
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
learn from schools.
Second,
Linking Words
cloth designing, wood work
etc
Punctuation problem
, etc
show examples
are all basic
skills
Use synonyms
of
life
Use synonyms
essential for
survivial
Correct your spelling
survival
.
Learing
Correct your spelling
Learning
cooking, dressing, wood carving
together with
Linking Words
theory teachings helps for easy retention and application in
day to day
Use the right word
day-to-day
show examples
life
Use synonyms
thereby
Punctuation problem
, thereby
show examples
improving health and
well being
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
learning household
skills
Use synonyms
makes it easy to do things without having dependence on another person. In summary, excellence in
both
Use synonyms
book reading and vocational training should be achieved together in schools.
This
Linking Words
further
Linking Words
helps to improve reasoning, development and
life
Use synonyms
survival
skills
Use synonyms
.
In
Use the right word
I
show examples
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
this
Linking Words
should be looked into in future plans of the education sector.

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Task Achievement
Your essay has a good introduction, but make sure to clearly state your opinion. Try to rephrase your main point for clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences to introduce each paragraph. This helps guide the reader through your ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Some sentences have spelling and grammar mistakes. Proofreading can help improve your writing and increase clarity.
Task Achievement
You express a strong opinion and support it with reasoning.
Task Achievement
You provided examples which help your points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Holistic education
  • Well-rounded education
  • Practical life skills
  • Foster creativity
  • Problem-solving abilities
  • Socio-economic gaps
  • Stress relief
  • Balanced lifestyle
  • Educational readiness
  • Career readiness
  • Job market
  • Versatile
  • Engagement
  • Motivation
  • Cultural development
  • Personal growth
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