IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

a friend from another country is moving to your city for work, he or she has asked you for advice about living in your city. Write a letter to your friend in your letter. - suggest an interesting part of the city to live in. - Describe the public transport in your city. - Say how your friend can meet new people there

Dear Sarah, I am so excited to hear about your move here
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 my city. I would be happy to share some useful suggestions
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 you. First off, North York is one of the most interesting parts of here because of its dense population. You know, there are so many people living there who come from different countries around the world.
This
Linking Words
 place
also
Linking Words
 has a variety of signs, local shops, and
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
show examples
 because it's mosaic. You may want to know
public
Change preposition
about public
show examples
 transit in Toronto. It's very functional, including subway and public bus. They both have
air
Correct article usage
an air
show examples
 conditioning system.
While
Linking Words
subway
Correct article usage
the subway
show examples
 is convenient for downtown access, big buses are more comfortable for long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 they both are pretty cheap. Toronto is a bit different from your country, Brazil, but you can easily adapt here with
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 commerce
center
Use the right word
centre
show examples
, which welcomes people.
Also
Linking Words
, they have many activities which help you meet new friends. I suggest
Correct article usage
a theater
show examples
theater
Use the right word
theatre
show examples
 class. It's much more funny. There are adoptions
plus
Punctuation problem
, plus
show examples
 there are adoption
center
Replace the word
centres
show examples
 for you. You can learn new skills
while
Linking Words
 meeting newcomers like you. Again, I'm so happy to see more in Toronto. Please let me know if you need anything. Best wishes,  Osgoode.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear idea. This will help your reader follow your thoughts easily.
task achievement
Try to add a little more detail to your suggestions. This can make your letter more helpful.
task achievement
You have a friendly tone that is suitable for a letter to a friend.
task achievement
You mentioned different ways your friend can meet new people, which is great advice.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: