Some people believe that allowing children to make decisions on every day choices such as food, clothes, entertainment will result in a society of individuals who think only of themselves, others are of the opinion that decision should be made about issues which affect them. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Children

Fix the agreement mistake

Child

show examples

raising has

becom

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become

a main

consern

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concern

in the world during the

last

Linking Words

10 years. The

magority

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majority

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

claim

Correct subject-verb agreement

claims

show examples

that

full-fredom

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full-freedom

in daily activities is the ideal method to produce

confident

Correct article usage

a confident

show examples

generation,

while

Linking Words

the minority

state

Correct subject-verb agreement

states

show examples

that

makes

Correct pronoun usage

it makes

show examples

them more

spoilet

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spoiled

This

Linking Words

essay

indicate

Correct subject-verb agreement

indicates

show examples

why

fredom

Correct your spelling

freedom

is extremely required to build a typical

independemt

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independent

community

Punctuation problem

community,

show examples

depends

Wrong verb form

depending

show examples

on the nature of these days. On one hand, life has

be come

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become

show examples

ovreopened

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reopened

during

this

Linking Words

era, which makes

prenventing

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preventing

children from everything

hightly

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highly

complicated. To illustrate, increase the

consiounseness

Correct your spelling

consciousness

in the population more

affictive comperd

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effective compared

to unallowing.

For example

Linking Words

, computer game addiction, informing and educating kids about the disadvantages of computer overuse is more convenient.

In addition

Linking Words

, giving the opportunity to

deside

Correct your spelling

decide

is clearly crucial in creating

experienses

Correct your spelling

experiences

and trials.

Linking Words

this

Fix capitalization

This

show examples

incourage

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encourages

new

individuale

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individuals

living

Wrong verb form

to live

show examples

independently,

whuch

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which

result

Correct subject-verb agreement

results

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

being able

encountering

Verb problem

to encounter

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

deficilties

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difficulties

. On the other

hands

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hand

show examples

parants

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parents

lose the

magor

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major

role in order of

paranting

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parenting

guidence

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guidance

, supervision and

bein

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being

show examples

the godfather.

Hence

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

explore

Correct subject-verb agreement

explores

show examples

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

population

Check wording

population's

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lack of values and customs,

Such

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

consedering

Correct your spelling

considering

family is

Correct article usage

a priorty

show examples

priorty

Correct your spelling

priority

genouresity

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generosity

aiding

Correct word choice

and aiding

show examples

friends. Another thing is

every

Correct word choice

that every

show examples

person will be isolated. Actually, the nature of people is

they

Correct word choice

that they

show examples

need each other,

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means more

strenth

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strength

show examples

and

safity

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safety

To sum up

Linking Words

, despite giving children the green light to do whatever they

wants

Correct subject-verb agreement

want

show examples

has many

drowbacks

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drawbacks

, it

still

Verb problem

is still

show examples

the

proffissional

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professional

style

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of paranting

show examples

paranting

Correct your spelling

parenting

adopting

Wrong verb form

adopted in

show examples

this

Linking Words

period of time.

abdulrahman.ali.adwan

Jul 15, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Your introduction has some good points but needs to be clearer. Try to make your position more clear from the start.

coherence and cohesion

Use simpler sentences for clarity. Many sentences are long and hard to follow. Break them into shorter sentences.

task achievement

Make sure you have a clear conclusion that summarizes your points well. It feels a bit weak right now.

task achievement

Try to give more examples to support your ideas. This will make your points stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

You have a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, which is good for discussion.

task achievement

You attempt to address the impact of decision-making on children, showing a good grasp of the topic.

task achievement

Some ideas are relevant and insightful, which is great for engaging the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
61
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

235 words

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Fully explain your ideas

‏There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree?

The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, the eating habits and lifestyle of children are diffrent from those of previous generations. Some people say this has had a negative effect on their health. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?