Should families or the government be responsible for caring for the elderly? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think the government should be responsible for caring for the elderly because they have contributed enough to society when they were young. Meanwhile, some people believe that family members should do that. I think family responsibility should look after their grandparents. The government should be responsible for caring for senior citizens by establishing medical care homes that offer free medical treatment, professional staff and equipped facilities to deal with their physical condition, which serve them better, and using professional nurses rather than family loads. Governments have the resources to provide standardized, professional healthcare services that families may not be able to afford.
On the other hand
, families should
further
be obligated to take responsibility for the elderly. They should be encouraged to live with the family since it greatly affects their health, and the intimacy of the family, in general, reduces loneliness by spending more time with family.
Also
, taking concern of grandparents was a worthy lesson for children, in our country most of the elderly live with their family members like my wife's grandfather who is 97 years old and has an excellent memory and physical condition since his grandsons take the load off him very well and follow his medical condition.
To sum up
, I believe that the elderly should be supported by their families because staying with them enhances their mental health, reduces loneliness, and helps them understand their needs very well.
Moreover
, the government should allocate budgets for creating facilities offering free health services for people who don't have family members.
Submitted by basemhamedd on

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The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction and thesis statement to outline the writer's stance. This helps the reader to understand the direction of the argument from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more cohesive devices and transitions between paragraphs to link ideas smoothly. This will make the essay flow better.
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To improve the completeness of the response, you might want to elaborate on some of your points with further details or examples. Consider addressing counterarguments to show a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the wife's grandfather, to support the argument that families should be responsible for taking care of the elderly. This adds a personal touch and credibility to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance. This helps to make the argument memorable and reinforces the writer's opinion.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • moral obligation
  • personalized care
  • emotional bonds
  • resources
  • standardized healthcare services
  • uniform standard of care
  • financial and emotional stress
  • comprehensive care
  • traditional roles
  • cultural norms
  • professional support
  • community services
  • infrastructure
  • public health system
  • well-being
  • dignity
  • elderly care facilities
  • support networks
  • social responsibilities
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