Should families or the government be responsible for caring for the elderly? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Some people think the government should be responsible for caring for the elderly because they have contributed enough to society when they were young. Meanwhile, some people believe that family members should do that. I think family responsibility should look after their grandparents.
The government should be responsible for caring for senior citizens by establishing medical care homes that offer free medical treatment, professional staff and equipped facilities to deal with their physical condition, which serve them better, and using professional nurses rather than family loads. Governments have the resources to provide standardized, professional healthcare services that families may not be able to afford.
On the other hand
, families should Linking Words
further
be obligated to take responsibility for the elderly. They should be encouraged to live with the family since it greatly affects their health, and the intimacy of the family, in general, reduces loneliness by spending more time with family. Linking Words
Also
, taking concern of grandparents was a worthy lesson for children, in our country most of the elderly live with their family members like my wife's grandfather who is 97 years old and has an excellent memory and physical condition since his grandsons take the load off him very well and follow his medical condition.
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To sum up
, I believe that the elderly should be supported by their families because staying with them enhances their mental health, reduces loneliness, and helps them understand their needs very well. Linking Words
Moreover
, the government should allocate budgets for creating facilities offering free health services for people who don't have family members.Linking Words
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The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction and thesis statement to outline the writer's stance. This helps the reader to understand the direction of the argument from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more cohesive devices and transitions between paragraphs to link ideas smoothly. This will make the essay flow better.
task achievement
To improve the completeness of the response, you might want to elaborate on some of your points with further details or examples. Consider addressing counterarguments to show a balanced perspective.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, such as the wife's grandfather, to support the argument that families should be responsible for taking care of the elderly. This adds a personal touch and credibility to the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance. This helps to make the argument memorable and reinforces the writer's opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.