Should families or the government be responsible for caring for the elderly? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#families #government

Some people think the government should be responsible for caring for the elderly because they have contributed enough to society when they were young. Meanwhile, some people believe that family members should do that. I think family responsibility should look after their grandparents. The government should be responsible for caring for senior citizens by establishing medical care homes that offer free medical treatment, professional staff and equipped facilities to deal with their physical condition, which serve them better, and using professional nurses rather than family loads. Governments have the resources to provide standardized, professional healthcare services that families may not be able to afford.

On the other hand

, families should

further

be obligated to take responsibility for the elderly. They should be encouraged to live with the family since it greatly affects their health, and the intimacy of the family, in general, reduces loneliness by spending more time with family.

Also

, taking concern of grandparents was a worthy lesson for children, in our country most of the elderly live with their family members like my wife's grandfather who is 97 years old and has an excellent memory and physical condition since his grandsons take the load off him very well and follow his medical condition.

To sum up

, I believe that the elderly should be supported by their families because staying with them enhances their mental health, reduces loneliness, and helps them understand their needs very well.

Moreover

, the government should allocate budgets for creating facilities offering free health services for people who don't have family members.

Submitted by basemhamedd on Fri Jul 19 2024

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The essay could benefit from a clearer introduction and thesis statement to outline the writer's stance. This helps the reader to understand the direction of the argument from the beginning.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, consider using more cohesive devices and transitions between paragraphs to link ideas smoothly. This will make the essay flow better.

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To improve the completeness of the response, you might want to elaborate on some of your points with further details or examples. Consider addressing counterarguments to show a balanced perspective.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant examples, such as the wife's grandfather, to support the argument that families should be responsible for taking care of the elderly. This adds a personal touch and credibility to the argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the writer's stance. This helps to make the argument memorable and reinforces the writer's opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibility
moral obligation
personalized care
emotional bonds
resources
standardized healthcare services
uniform standard of care
financial and emotional stress
comprehensive care
traditional roles
cultural norms
professional support
community services
infrastructure
public health system
well-being
dignity
elderly care facilities
support networks
social responsibilities

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Should families or the government be responsible for caring for the elderly? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

living in a country where you have to speak a foreigen language can cause seriouse social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays many jobs are more stressful and the working day is longer. What are the reasons for this? What can employers do to help employees?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some people feel that the government should regulate the level of violence in films on television and at the cinema. Others feel that violent films should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that exercise is the key to health while others feel that having a balanced diet is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.