IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that the internet has brought more harm than good. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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 has a great influence on the
lives
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 of
people
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 all around the world.The extreme use of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 by all
the
Correct article usage
apply
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age groups raises a debate
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to
argument
Correct article usage
an argument
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 by some
people
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 that the
internet
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possess
Verb problem
has
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more
Correct article usage
a more
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 detrimental impact
for
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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users than the benefits. I strongly agree with the presented notion.
This
Linking Words
 essay will demonstrate both the advantages and disadvantages of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, concluding with my opinion. One of the factors supporting the view is the increased
cyber crime
Use the right word
cybercrime
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 on various social media platforms.
For instance
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, a number of social media influencers have
victimised
Verb problem
been victimised
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the
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by the
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 hacking of their accounts and personal information,
consequently
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, leading to stress and bullying by the hackers. Nowadays, almost every second household depends on social media to earn money by posting videos and sharing their personal
lives
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.
This
Linking Words
 overutilisation of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 and online apps by individuals has raised the chances of crime and hacking
which
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, which
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further
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 deteriorates the
lives
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 and well-being of the victims.
Additionally
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,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 has created distance in the close relationships of
people
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, every
internet
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 user is always found busy on their phones
while
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 sitting with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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friends and family. They give more time to their digital life than
in
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to
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person
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in-person
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 relationships.
This
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 has created a lack of trust and bonding among relatives and colleagues.
On the other hand
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, the positive change that technology and
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 have brought to the
lives
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 of
people
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 cannot be neglected.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
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 has made
lives
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 easy by offering
number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of platforms, websites and data that
answers
Correct subject-verb agreement
answer
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 every question.
For instance
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,
people
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 can book appointments with the doctors anytime with their phones
,
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;
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moreover
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, there are telehealth options available to improve convenience for
the
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apply
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people
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 seeking assistance.
Furthermore
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,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 benefit a lot from the
internet
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 and online learning. There
are
Verb problem
is are
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 plethora of academic material available on
youtube
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YouTube
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, websites and apps which children can access anytime to assist with their studies to improve their academic performance.
Therefore
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, there are several benefits that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 provides to make
lives
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 better and easier.
To conclude
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, though there are huge opportunities and services available to the users of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 but
according to
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 me, the higher risk of engaging in crimes and deterioration of personal relationships cannot be overlooked
and
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, and
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 the
internet
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 should be used in moderation.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to use clear topic sentences for each paragraph. This helps the reader understand the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Try to balance the number of advantages and disadvantages discussed in the essay. It's important to give good examples for both sides.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'however', or 'in addition' to connect your ideas more clearly.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and show a deeper understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that you support throughout the essay, which is good.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly states what your essay will discuss, which helps guide the reader.
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