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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows what Anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart illustrates
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 anthropology
students
Check wording
students'
show examples
 destination after graduating from their
bachelores
Check wording
bachelor's
show examples
 degree
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the table shows, amount of money they
making
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 after 5 years of working in their field.
Overall
Linking Words
, there are 6 categories available in the chart
including
Punctuation problem
, including
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 full-time
work
Use synonyms
, part-time
work
Use synonyms
, unemployed and full-time
postgrad
Correct word choice
postgraduate
show examples
 study.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 in the
table
Add a comma
table,
show examples
 there are 4
salary
Use synonyms
catogaries
Correct your spelling
categories
 available, starting from $25,000-49,999 to $100,000+
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 three
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of employment.
Firstly
Linking Words
, after
graduation
Add a comma
graduation,
show examples
 more than half of the students (52%) started to
work
Use synonyms
 full-time
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
part
Use the right word
part-time
show examples
-
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 was the second popular category with 15%. Both full-time
postgrad
Correct word choice
postgraduate
show examples
 study and no information category
holds
Correct subject-verb agreement
hold
show examples
 8% and
umployed
Correct your spelling
unemployed
 graduates recorded 12%.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, only 5% students decided to
work
Use synonyms
 past time
while
Linking Words
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 for
Correct article usage
a masters
show examples
masters
Check wording
master's
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, graduates who started to
work
Use synonyms
 in
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 sector
records
Correct subject-verb agreement
record
show examples
 50% of workers with $100,000
plus
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
which is the highest percentage
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same
salary
Use synonyms
 level.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
show examples
 freelance
cunsultnts
Correct your spelling
consultants
 and private company employees
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 40% and 30% respectively.
lowest
Correct article usage
The lowest
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
 level is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
$25,000-49,999.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, salary with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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