IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Sompe poeple believe that bicycles are the best mode of transport in the cities, while others disgaree. Discuss advantages and disadvantages of both views and give your own opinion.

Cycling is the best kind of transportation because it helps your body to keep fit
,
Punctuation problem
.
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Moreover
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, you will not be stuck in a traffic jam. The question is,
There
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there
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 are many people who believe bicycles are the best kind of transportation. In my opinion, I believe
is
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
that
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 bicycles are the best way to go to your work or wherever you want. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to introduce the advantages and disadvantages
about
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apply
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of it and give my opinion. First of all,
coomunity
Correct your spelling
communities
 who want to keep fit or improve their fitness
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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should
cycling
Wrong verb form
cycle
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 more than others, it helps to improve their health, especially if the city has good weather, so they can cycle at any time of the year.
Moreover
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, cities usually have a lot of traffic jams
,
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.
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However
Linking Words
, cycling can avoid them.
For instance
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, my friend used to go to his work in an hour because of the traffic
,
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.
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However
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, when he adapted the cycling, he goes to work in 20 minutes.
On the other hand
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, there are many people who do not like cycling because they think the disadvantages outcome the advantages. If the city has bad weather or a high temperature so they can not cycle.
For instance
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, in Riyadh capital of Saudi Arabia, the temperature is 45,
therefore
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, practising cycling is kind of impossible
,
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.
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However
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, there are people who still go cycling, but some of them got heat stroke. In conclusion, I would argue that
cyling
Correct your spelling
cycling
 is the best mode of transportation
,
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.
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However
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, it depends on the weather.
there
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There
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 are many countries around the world that have high temperatures, so cycling there has a high risk. Kim Ryo

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states the advantages and disadvantages. Also, give a clear opinion in your conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words to connect your ideas better (like 'firstly', 'however', 'for example').
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling mistakes to improve clarity. For instance, 'coomunity' should be 'community'.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion about cycling as a good transport option.
task achievement
You provide a personal example, which helps support your view on cycling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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