IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, people think owning a home is more important than renting one. Why is this the case? Do you think it’s a positive or negative situation?

There are more and more families that tend to let
children
Use synonyms
 attend homeschooling rather than traditional
school
Use synonyms
 education.
Although
Linking Words
 there are increasing people who let their
kids
Use synonyms
 accept
home-schooling
Use the right word
homeschooling
show examples
, I believe that sending them to
school
Use synonyms
 is better. There are several reasons why I consider
educating
Correct word choice
that educating
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 has more advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 subjects are normally taught by up to ten different teachers. Namely, students could receive more professional academic training.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
 provides
children
Use synonyms
 social experience with different relationships(pupils and pupils or students with teachers).
For example
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 learn how to get on with each other in cooperative work,
as well as
Linking Words
competiviness
Correct your spelling
competitiveness
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, I do not deny that home-schooling has its own advantages. Ordinarily, parents can respond to what their
children
Use synonyms
 need and how they learn best.
For example
Linking Words
, once they notice their
kids
Use synonyms
 might not
comprehending
Verb problem
be comprehending
show examples
 math, they can change the educational approach to let students understand as efficiently as possible.
Moreover
Linking Words
, discipline problems are avoided by
this
Linking Words
.
For instance
Linking Words
, these kinds of
kids
Use synonyms
 will not suffer
under
Change preposition
from
show examples
 potential
school
Use synonyms
 bullying. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 educating
kids
Use synonyms
 at home has various advantages, I still think letting
children
Use synonyms
 gain
acknowledgement
Check wording
recognition
show examples
 outweighs other choices.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your viewpoint or main argument about homeschooling versus traditional schooling.
coherence cohesion
Try to use clear connecting words (like 'firstly', 'secondly') to show your points and how they are linked.
task achievement
Add more examples or details to explain how each type of schooling is different, this will make your ideas clearer.
content
You have presented clear points about the benefits of both schooling methods, which is good for understanding your view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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