IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below show the proportion of income spent on different areas by one university, in 2005 and 2015.

The charts below show the proportion of income spent on different areas by one university, in 2005 and 2015.
The pie charts illustrate the percentage of income
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
allocated to various figures between 2005 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, 
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching
show examples
 and research category was the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
 expenditure in both years, followed by maintaining campuses, which remained
stable
Punctuation problem
stable,
show examples
 
while
Linking Words
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
 and management area saw a significant increase over the years. In 2005, the university allocated more to the teaching and research field,
while
Linking Words
 financial support for students was far below it,
comparing
Verb problem
with a ratio
show examples
 53% to 5%. The second priority was accommodation (16%), followed by maintaining campuses and libraries at the same level at 10% costs. By 2015, the most significant university expenditure was teaching and research; its expenses were just 2% lower than in 2005. Administration and management took the second position (16%), 
while
Linking Words
 maintaining campuses was the third level of spending the university's money.
Moreover
Linking Words
, financial support for students and accommodation were the same portion of the funding. Library costs were halved to 5%, matching financial support for students in 2005.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: