IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The graph and table below give information about water use worldwide and water consumption in two different countries.
The first line graph compares the
number
Check wording
amount
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
use of
Replace the word
used by
 agriculture,industry and domestic
all
Check wording
use all
show examples
 over the world between 1900 and 2000,with
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 table
demonstating
Correct your spelling
demonstrating
 the
water
Use synonyms
 consumption in Brazil and
Congo
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
Is's
Correct pronoun usage
It's
show examples
 clear that the gross number of global
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 showed an upward trend over a period of 100 years. The
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 in Agriculture ranked
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first and grew dramatically.Industrial and domestic
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 increased steadily, which was
fewer
Correct determiner usage
less
show examples
 than the Agricultural
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,in 2000,the
water
Use synonyms
 which is used
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
per person and
irrigation
Change preposition
for irrigation
show examples
 in
Brail
Correct your spelling
Brazil
 outnumbered that in
Congo
Use synonyms
. In 1900,global
water
Use synonyms
 used by agriculture
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 about 500 Km2,
while
Linking Words
 industrial and domestic
use
Use synonyms
 was almost zero.Over a century,agricultural
water
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 rose sharply,reaching around 3000 Km2.When the industrial and domestic
water
Use synonyms
 consumption
bagan
Correct your spelling
began
 to increase
noticeably
Punctuation problem
noticeably,
show examples
is in
Verb problem
apply
show examples
around 1950,from near zero to almost 1000 Km2 and from zero to 300 Km2 respectively. As for the table,
water
Use synonyms
 consumption per person in Brail whose population is 176 million,was larger than that of
Congo
Use synonyms
 with the population of 5.2 million in 2000, with 359 m3 and 8m3.
Similarly
Linking Words
,Brail
use
Use synonyms
 26500 Km2
water
Use synonyms
 to irrigate,followed by
Congo
Use synonyms
 with 100
Km2
Correct your spelling
km² of
water
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words water, use, congo, km with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: