IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

It is often said that all individuals should accumulate savings for the rest of their lives. Personally, I completely agree with
this
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 viewpoint because saving money helps not only prepare for both expected and unexpected situations but
also
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 maintain stability psychologically and socially.
Firstly
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, one major reason is to prepare for both predictable and unpredictable expenses that are common in life.
For example
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, saving in advance helps people avoid loans or debt for marriage, childcare and
one’s
Check wording
their
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house
Punctuation problem
house,
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 where people can predict how much they cost.
On the other hand
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, additional money can be necessary for paying expenses if accidents and sudden illness happen
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in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 contrast to predicted events.
According to
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 the New York transportation institution, the average out-of-pocket medical expenses are $250 each time
when
Rephrase
apply
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patients call an ambulance
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 may lead to a financial burden. Another key benefit is
protection
Correct article usage
the protection
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 of a stable daily life in terms of both mental and social security. Young workers, especially those in non-regular jobs, often face unstable income
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 may be linked to increased anxiety and risky
behaviors
Use the right word
behaviours
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. It means that having financial reserves can prevent fear and reduce the likelihood of resorting to crime or desperate measures.
Additionally
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, with financial support, members of society can consider changing jobs or taking breaks without panic. Even in
case
Correct article usage
the case
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 of temporary unemployment, savings allow individuals to live safely until they find a new position. In conclusion, I believe that savings not only provide a consistent life without dragging people’s lives down but
also
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 help enhance the quality of the standard of living.
Therefore
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, the importance of saving money should not be underestimated.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction to help the reader understand your stance.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs, such as 'moreover', 'furthermore', and 'however'.
task achievement
Try to provide even more specific examples or personal experiences to support your points.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion and provide strong reasons to support it.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs focusing on different ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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