Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7days a week. Is this development more positive or negative?( Cong THanh no1)

today

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today's

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digital era, mobile phones allow people to receive

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

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every time

including

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, including

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weekends.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

development offers convenient and better communication, I believe it

Verb problem

has more

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negative effects

overall

Linking Words

. First of all, being reachable 24/7 through

mobile

Correct article usage

a mobile

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phone can be extremely disruptive to people’s personal time . Receive unsolicited

telemarking

Use the right word

telemarketing

show examples

calls or unplanned

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

disturbs

Correct subject-verb agreement

disturb

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focus and relaxation. It

become

Correct subject-verb agreement

becomes

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hard to focus

look

Wrong verb form

on looking

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after families or any relation. Mobile calls can

also

Linking Words

be a scam tool for money laundering

organizations

Use the right word

organisations

show examples

. For

examples

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example

show examples

fraudulent

Punctuation problem

, fraudulent

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calls from Cambodia organizations

Secondly

Linking Words

This

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this

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constant connectivity

also

Linking Words

blurs the line between personal and professional life

causing

Punctuation problem

, causing

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long term

Use the right word

long-term

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stress. Employees feel

pressure

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pressured

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and uncomfortable to work calls instantly, even during rest

hour

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hours

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Change preposition

show examples

home.

This

Linking Words

may result in burnout and lower productivity or

problem

Correct article usage

a problem

show examples

relation

Replace the word

relationship

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between

employee

Correct article usage

the employee

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and

employer

Correct article usage

the employer

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. Proliferation of mobile phones

infer

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results in

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more and more nuisance

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

. The measure anti

scam

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scams

show examples

Punctuation problem

, we

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should not receive

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

from

stranger

Fix the agreement mistake

strangers

show examples

Linking Words

contrast

Punctuation problem

contrast,

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mobile

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

bring many

beneficial

Replace the word

benefits

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which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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so convenient

Punctuation problem

, help

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help

Replace the word

helping

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people or family connect and talk from afar .

This

Linking Words

way

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

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everyone receive information In summaries,

although

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mobile phone have people easy connect everytimes and everywhere be available for calls but which bring distracting. For a healthy

life

Add a comma

life,

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we can disconnect

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

mobile

Correct pronoun usage

our mobile

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phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

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and enjoy time off with families or friends

midden-02.tore

Jul 16, 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Connect your ideas clearly and logically between sentences.

coherence and cohesion

Make your introduction clear by stating your main opinion directly. Also, ensure your conclusion summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.

task achievement

Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments better.

task achievement

Use a wider range of vocabulary where possible to make your sentences more interesting and clear.

task achievement

You have a clear opinion throughout the essay which is good for task response.

task achievement

You addressed both positive and negative aspects of mobile phones, showing good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
41
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

223 words

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Anybody can use a mobile phone to answer the work and personal calls at any time or 7days a week. Is this development more positive or negative?( Cong THanh no1)

Fully explain your ideas

Some people dislike change in their society and in their own lives and want things to stay the same. Why do some people want things to stay the same? Why should change be regarded as something positive?

Some people believe they are entitled to all the money they earn, to spend everything on themselves, instead of paying part of their salaries in taxes to the state. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion and examples.

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.