In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

This
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essay argues that, in many
countries
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, the level of
crime
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has risen; I believe
this
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is because of weak laws in those
countries
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, which cause many crimes in cities. To solve
this
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issue, the
government
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needs to impose strict penalties and help poor
people
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to
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apply
show examples
reduce
crime
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. On the one hand, nowadays, in many
countries
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, the level of
crime
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is very high.
Additionally
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, criminals are unafraid of the
government
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because the rules in those
countries
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are very weak, which results in many crimes and thefts in cities.
For instance
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, a survey in the U.K. showed that 50% of
people
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are criminals because they are unafraid of the
government
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.
Also
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, many poor
people
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lack food or money and depend on
crime
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to survive.
On the other hand
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, to reduce the
crime
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rate, the
government
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should impose strict penalties for criminals.
Also
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, the
government
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should help poor
people
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by providing them with jobs to earn money to survive, which will reduce the
crime
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and theft rate.
For example
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, there is less
crime
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in Saudi Arabia by 20% because the
government
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helps its
people
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by giving them money every month.
Also
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, the
government
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imposes strict rules to reduce
crime
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in the country. In conclusion, several
countries
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are suffering from
crime
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because the
government
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has weak laws, which result in many crimes. To solve
this
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issue, the
government
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should impose strict rules and help poor
people
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by providing them with jobs to reduce
crime
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.

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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points, and explain them clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure your paragraphs are clearly linked to each other and that ideas flow smoothly.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas in each paragraph to provide more detail and support for your claims.
task achievement
The essay clearly states a problem and suggests solutions, which is a good approach.
coherence and cohesion
The organization of ideas is clear, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
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