IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows consumers' average annual expenditure on cell phone, national and international fixed-line and services in America between 2001 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The
line
Use synonyms
 chart provides information about the average annual consumption
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, international and national fixed
line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 States from 2001 to 2010. The units are measured in
dollars
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear
feom
Correct your spelling
from
 the graph that cell phone
services
Use synonyms
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
 rapidly throughout the period. In
additon
Correct your spelling
addition
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
 was
Correct article usage
a gradually
show examples
gradually
Replace the word
gradual
show examples
 decrease in national fixed
line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the expenditure on international fixed
line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 remained almost the same over
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the years.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the consumption
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 cell phone
services
Use synonyms
 was the lowest at
first,
Linking Words
started
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 200
dollars
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 it grew significantly to around 750
dollar
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
show examples
 annually,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes it the highest spending in 2010.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
 spending on international fixed
line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
 was
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
approximately 260
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2001 and in 2003 increased slightly to around 315
dollars
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it
had
Verb problem
apply
show examples
remained constant at 300
dollars
Use synonyms
. In terms of national fixed
line
Use synonyms
services
Use synonyms
, it dropped considerably,
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
initally
Correct your spelling
initially
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 700 to 400
dollars
Use synonyms
 in 2010.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words line, services, dollars with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: