IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Your childhood friend has established his own business. He needs a partner whom he can completely trust and asks you to become his partner. Write a letter to him. In your letter: • Give the details about your knowledge in this particular field and your opinion; • Tell your decision and its reasons; • Thank him for trust and offer. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear ....,

Dear Preet, I am glad to hear that you have started your own
Use synonyms
business
Check wording
garment business
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 of garments. I know
this
Linking Words
 was your
dreams
Fix the agreement mistake
dream
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 when we used to study together, and
Linking Words
Finally
Fix capitalization
finally
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 you are
completeing
Correct your spelling
completing
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 dream of
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 own
business
Use synonyms
. Thank you for considering me your
business
Use synonyms
 partner. But I am really very sorry for not accepting your offer. The main reason is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 I am pursuing my B.Tech. Because of
that
Punctuation problem
that,
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 I do not have enough time. I do not have that much knowledge of
this
Linking Words
 field. I hope
so
Rephrase
apply
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you will understand my situation. I really appreciate
for
Change preposition
apply
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you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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 trust and
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 know you want me to part of
you
Correct pronoun usage
your
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business
Use synonyms
, but
this
Linking Words
 field is totally different from
field
Correct article usage
the field
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 and I want to focus on my
careers
Fix the agreement mistake
career
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. I am feeling very bad for my decision, but
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 hope
so
Change preposition
apply
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you will understand how my situation is different. Thanks my friend Sandeep Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Try to make each paragraph focus on one idea.
task achievement
Provide more detailed reasons for your decision.
task achievement
Use a more formal tone in your letter.
task achievement
You expressed your feelings clearly about your friend’s business.
task achievement
Your gratitude for the offer is well communicated.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • business
  • trust
  • success
  • experience
  • skills
  • opinion
  • partnership
  • excited
  • commitment
  • reasons
  • shared
  • memories
  • opportunity
  • support
  • potential
  • entrepreneurial
  • knowledge
  • field
  • work
  • together
What to do next:
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