IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Housing is essential for people . Some argu that government should offer free housing for people who can not afford it.do you agree or disagree with this statement

Access to basic
neccesities
Correct your spelling
necessities
 of life
such
Linking Words
 as housing, clothing and food is crucial in
people
Use synonyms
's lives. Some
people
Use synonyms
 debate that to assist the individuals and families facing financial hardships, the government should provide free housing facilities. I firmly agree with the
notion
Punctuation problem
notion,
show examples
 as
this
Linking Words
 approach will ensure a safe place for many
roadsiders
Correct your spelling
road users
 to live in.
This
Linking Words
 essay will demonstrate the supportive arguments in favour of the statement before reaching
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a conclusion.
To begin
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 with, the government should finance free accommodation to assist families
victimising
Wrong verb form
victimised
show examples
poverty
Change preposition
by poverty
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. There are a number of households having one breadwinner who hardly manages to acquire meals for the family
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 limited earnings
hinders
Correct subject-verb agreement
hinder
show examples
 their ability to occupy a home.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted in New South Wales in 2018
provided
Verb problem
found
show examples
 that approximately 60 per cent of the
people
Use synonyms
 sleeping on pedestrians were affected by poverty.
Therefore
Linking Words
, free housing amenities will provide
opportunity
Correct article usage
an opportunity
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 to poor
people
Use synonyms
 to have a room to sleep,
Linking Words
nonetheless
Rephrase
regardless
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 of the high
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 prices.
Additionally
Linking Words
, another factor to consider is the safety of the
people
Use synonyms
 who do not have a house to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary era, crime is increasing day by day
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the victims are usually the
roadsiders
Correct your spelling
roadside
.
Check wording
users.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
, a recent sexual abuse incident in Delhi,
India
Punctuation problem
India,
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 stated that the girl who was abused was sleeping on the footpath with her father
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the perpetrators were
in
Change preposition
under
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 the influence of alcohol.
Thus
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,
inability
Correct article usage
the inability
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 to access a house increases the risk of safety for
people
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, to reduce the tendency of crimes and to protect the
people
Use synonyms
 from risk, the government should help
people
Use synonyms
 to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
safe
accommodation
Fix the agreement mistake
accommodations
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I strongly agree with the view that the authorities should
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 the population who find it difficult to access housing to assist the
people
Use synonyms
 in poverty and
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
 the chances of crime
done to
Verb problem
against
show examples
 poor
people
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Make sure to clearly outline your main ideas in the introduction, and restate them in the conclusion.
cohesion
Use linking words like 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally' to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
support
Try to give more specific examples to support your ideas. This can make your argument stronger.
language
Watch out for small spelling and grammatical errors, like 'accommodation' instead of 'accomodation'.
strength
You clearly stated your opinion in the introduction, which is very important in this type of essay.
strength
Your essay contains relevant arguments and examples which support your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government intervention
  • financial hardship
  • social stability
  • homelessness
  • crime rates
  • public health
  • quality of life
  • government expenditure
  • emergency health services
  • law enforcement
  • moral obligation
  • human dignity
  • dependency
  • government support
  • employment
What to do next:
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