IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the best way to improve road safety is increasing the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbikie.

Some individuals consider that the most secure option to enhance road safety is developing
restricted
Correct article usage
a restricted
show examples
 mature
age
Use synonyms
 for running a car or motorbike. I entirely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view. Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 highly substantial. On the one hand,there are a number of remarkable approaches which
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
convenience for every person to live without any concerns. First of all,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prohibiting of particular
age
Use synonyms
assist
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
reduce the
a lot
Check wording
number
show examples
 of break the rules. Most of the scholarships reckon that under the
age
Use synonyms
 of eighteen
teenagers
Punctuation problem
, teenagers
show examples
 have some bad psychological habits that they do not know how to behave in crowded places. Because
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
both of their behaviours and character
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 not fully shaped. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, more citizens
emphasize
Use the right word
emphasise
show examples
 that the motoring of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers is not
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 option for
inhabitant
Fix the agreement mistake
inhabitants
show examples
. If the government allows
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
driving a car or motorbike from the
age
Use synonyms
 of
teenager
Correct article usage
a teenager
show examples
, they make a lot of
awkwards
Correct your spelling
awkwardness
 for both drivers and
people
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 visit late to their work or their special
meetings
Punctuation problem
meetings,
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more issues.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the urgent ambulance can not get into the hospital,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taunting patient may
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
suffer.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the road security is not boost not only
restrict
Wrong verb form
restricted
show examples
 the
age
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
 the authority should set up some strict priorities
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
like
adjust
Wrong verb form
adjusting
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of radars or special cameras.
For instance
Linking Words
, if one person
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
 not follow the rules, the government have to
penalize
Use the right word
penalise
show examples
 them to obtain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part of their salary. In conclusion, the better way to boost road security is
empowering
Wrong verb form
to empower
show examples
 the limitations of
age
Use synonyms
 for driving a car or motorbike. If all drivers follow the special rules, extra priorities
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
 not
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. This will help readers follow your thoughts better.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Check your grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences are hard to understand and have mistakes.
task achievement
Your opinion is clear throughout the essay, showing your agreement with the idea.
task achievement
You have made good points about age affecting driving ability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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