IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some cities, people are choosing cars instead of bicycles, while in other cities riding bikes is replacing cars. Why is this the case? Which development do you think is better?

While
Linking Words
 driving a car is becoming more and more common than cycling in some
cities
Use synonyms
 around the world,
Linking Words
however
Rephrase
apply
show examples
it is
reverse
Correct article usage
the reverse
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other
cities
Use synonyms
 that
keen
Verb problem
are keen
show examples
 on riding a bike
instead
Linking Words
 of
cars
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is because individuals around the world have different opinions of
transportation
Use synonyms
 and some of them are concerned about
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
, so they tend to choose
ride
Verb problem
to ride
show examples
 a bike. Personally, I think that switching to the bikes is
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
more
Change the word
apply
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better type of
transportation
Use synonyms
. Since
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming is
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major problem
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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humanity
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it is becoming worse
together with
Linking Words
 the carbon emissions that
cars
Use synonyms
 produce, more and more people are worried and trying to eliminate
this
Linking Words
 issue on their own
switching
Punctuation problem
, switching
show examples
 to more eco-friendly
kind
Check wording
forms
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 of
transportation
Use synonyms
.
This
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, in turn, reduces the usage of
cars
Use synonyms
 and decreases
the emit
Verb problem
emissions
show examples
.
However
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, some developing
cities
Use synonyms
 are increasing the utilize of
cars
Use synonyms
, as they are crucial in terms of
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
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 growth of the
city
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
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, every
city
Use synonyms
 is
prioritizing
Use the right word
prioritising
show examples
 the best means of
transportation
Use synonyms
 based on
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 development and economic conditions. The replacement of
cars
Use synonyms
 with bicycles is
more
Correct article usage
a more
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 beneficial development for several reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it promotes
healthier
Correct article usage
a healthier
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 lifestyle for its owner as cycling provides regular physical exercise.
Secondly
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,
bycicles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
 are environmentally friendly
producing
Punctuation problem
, producing
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 no harmful emissions and significantly reducing noise pollution, which is
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 development for several
cities
Use synonyms
 that are experiencing problems with air and noise pollution.
Although
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cars
Use synonyms
 are still necessary in some situations, particularly in rural areas or for long-distance travel, encouraging bicycle use in
cities
Use synonyms
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
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 more sustainable urban environments. In conclusion, the choice between
cars
Use synonyms
 and bicycles varies from
city
Use synonyms
 to
city
Use synonyms
 depending on its infrastructure,
geogphy
Correct your spelling
geography
together with
Linking Words
 economy.
However
Linking Words
, replacing
cars
Use synonyms
 with bicycles is the quality of healthier and more environmentally friendly
of
Check wording
aspect of
show examples
 modern urban living.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states the main points of your essay. A clear thesis is very important.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use more linking words (like 'firstly', 'however', 'in conclusion') to help your essay flow better.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of your ideas by using more specific examples and clear explanations.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that switching to bicycles is better, which shows your understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You mentioned important issues like global warming and health, which are relevant to the topic.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sprawling urban areas
  • infrastructure
  • carbon footprints
  • dedicated bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • compact urban design
  • sustainable
  • pollution
  • traffic congestion
  • livable
  • physical activity
  • reducing stress levels
  • alleviated
What to do next:
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