IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that rich countries should give assistance
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the poorer ones during natural
troubles
Check wording
disasters
show examples
. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statment becuase
Correct your spelling
statement because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 lack of resources and to save
people
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people's
show examples
 lives
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tough
situtions
Correct your spelling
situations
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with , most of
poverty
Check wording
the poverty-stricken
show examples
 nations suffer from
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
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water
Change preposition
of water
show examples
 sources
due to
Linking Words
 the position of
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 land .
In addition
Linking Words
 , some of them struggle to get
there
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their
show examples
 food needs
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 of the low income they gain from
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 work
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
as
Fix capitalization
As
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 a result , wealthy
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
 should help them and provide them food and supplements to reinforce
there wellbeing
Use the right word
their well-being
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they should find a solution to the water demand and
make
Verb problem
provide
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
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monthly relief to prevent any disease may
appeare
Correct your spelling
appearing
due to
Linking Words
 the low water problem .
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
emergance
Correct your spelling
emergency
 health care issue
also
Linking Words
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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 to be
solve
Wrong verb form
solved
show examples
, poor people may need urgent treatments ,
espeically
Correct your spelling
especially
 in the
catastrophec situtions
Correct your spelling
catastrophic situations
. A recent study found that 65% of poor states suffer from chronic disease and long-term health problems
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 they are unable to treat
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
 illnesses .
Linking Words
as
Fix capitalization
As
show examples
 a result , the richer countries should build hospitals and healthcare
centers
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centres
show examples
 to reduce these
proportion
Fix the agreement mistake
proportions
show examples
 and save
humans
Fix the agreement mistake
human
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wellbeing
Use the right word
well-being
show examples
.
To conclude
Linking Words
 , wealthy nations must send humanitarian relief and
faciltate
Correct your spelling
facilitate
 the urgent needs
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 poorer citizens . So we
collabarate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
 with each other to save humanity .

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coherence and cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main point and examples to support it.
task achievement
Make sure to check for grammatical errors and punctuation. This will help your writing look more professional.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to help explain your points better.
task achievement
You stated your opinion clearly at the beginning of the essay, which is good.
task achievement
Your points about water and health care are relevant to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
What to do next:
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