Some people believe that the government should invest more in the arts to enhance cultural development. Others argue that government funding should be spent on more essential areas such as healthcare and education. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In
this
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day and age, many
people
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think it is better if the government invests in the
arts
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to promote cultural development,
while
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others think/believe that
such
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spending must be made in more essential areas like education and healthcare. In my opinion, I agree with the latter statement.
This
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essay will discuss the following topic as follows. First and foremost, expenditure on learning or health services is important as it is the basis
to nourish
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for nourishing
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a country.
While
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education fosters knowledge and teaches students life skills so they can join the workforce and replenish the old generations, healthcare treats and cures life-threatening diseases for many
people
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.
Although
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the
arts
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help promote cultural development, it is not as necessary as the basic needs that many
people
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still cannot have.
Therefore
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, we should focus on giving money to
such
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things first.
Secondly
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,
on the other hand
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, investing in the
arts
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can help build cultural understanding and appreciation of our country, allowing
people
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to connect and share ideas.
Arts
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help to set up a friendly, open surrounding where many
people
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can participate and give many inspirations to unfortunate individuals.
This
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helps to solve racism and isolation in the community
as well as
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increasing
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increase
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the living standard in the area.
Moreover
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, it can
also
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create jobs in tourism and boost local businesses. With the
arts
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, many
people
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will respect the scenery and be willing to clean up polluted areas that can sustain tourism industries.With
this
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, local traditions are preserved and the country’s significance is
also
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being recognised by foreigners, which brings up the economy.
In addition
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,
this
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can boost creativity , which is essential in careers. More
people
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will think outside the box and develop many radical concepts that prove to be useful and increase productivity. In conclusion,
although
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providing budget for the
arts
Use synonyms
can reap insurmountable benefits, it is not as significant as the fundamental needs ,
such
Linking Words
as education and health
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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, that serve purposeful roles and form the basis of society.

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly states your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the flow of your essay by using linking words more effectively.
task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion stated in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs discuss both sides of the argument well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • government
  • invest
  • arts
  • cultural
  • development
  • funding
  • essential
  • healthcare
  • education
  • jobs
  • economy
  • tourism
  • businesses
  • creativity
  • society
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • life
  • well-being
  • prioritize
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