IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that community work without pay should be mandatory for high school activity. To what extend do agree or disagree.

There is no denying the fact that
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 is important in
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
 a country.
While
Linking Words
 it is commonly held a belief that it is vital and mandatory for
undergraduates
Use synonyms
 to do
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 without getting paid, there is
also
Linking Words
 an argument that opposes
this
Linking Words
 idea. In my opinion, I consider that
undergraduates
Use synonyms
 must do
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 without being paid.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, when high schoolers start contributing
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
community
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will increase their confidence
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
In other words
Linking Words
, it will have a positive impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their future
either
Punctuation problem
, either
show examples
 in their upcoming jobs or how to adapt in the real world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
undergraduates
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 volunteer
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
will improve skills,
for instance
Linking Words
, communication skills , critical thinking skills and more. Another point to consider is, high school volunteers should not be paid in any way. It is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that when
undergraduates
Use synonyms
 do not get
paied
Correct your spelling
paid
,
this
Linking Words
 will lead them to know that not everything is about money
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will increase their confidence and creativity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, by making high schoolers volunteer in
community
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
work
Punctuation problem
work,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will expand their teamwork.
For example
Linking Words
, the Red
crescent
Fix capitalization
Crescent
show examples
 is one of many
organization
Use the right word
organisations
show examples
 in the United Arab Emirates that believes
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 should not be paid
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 they even take volunteers to countries that need help
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 goods
such
Linking Words
 as
cloths
Use the right word
clothes
show examples
, food, and other services. In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that high school students should do
community
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 even if it is not paid because it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a great impact on them in the future.

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structure
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
content
Try to provide more specific examples for each main point to strengthen your argument.
language
Check for spelling mistakes, such as 'paied' should be 'paid'.
coherence
Improve sentence structure for better clarity and smoother flow.
content
You provide a clear opinion on community work and its importance.
content
Your ideas about the benefits of volunteering are relevant and thoughtful.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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