IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

In today's competitive world,
parents
Use synonyms
excert
Correct your spelling
exert
 significant
pressure
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 to achieve academic and personal success.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reasons behind
this
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 trend and argue that it is a largely negative development. The primary reason for
this
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pressure
Use synonyms
 stems from the desire of
parents
Use synonyms
 to secure a
furture
Correct your spelling
future
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
. With rising education
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
, limited opportunities,
fierce
Correct word choice
and fierce
show examples
 competition in
labour
Correct article usage
the labour
show examples
 market,
parents
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 may feel that only high
achiever
Fix the agreement mistake
achievers
show examples
can be successful.
In addition
Linking Words
, societal expectations and comparisons with peers
further
Linking Words
 fuel
this
Linking Words
pressure
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 fear that their
children
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 might be falling behind economically and socially.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 approach often leads to detrimental effects.
Although
Linking Words
 little encouragement can motivate
children
Use synonyms
's
resilence
Use the right word
resilience
show examples
, excessive
pressure
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 may result
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 anxiety, stress and mental sickness.
Therefore
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,
long term
Use the right word
long-term
show examples
 mental
pressure
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 can lead to fatal diseases or permanently damage
ability
Correct article usage
the ability
show examples
 to
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
 clearly.
Moreover
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,
unrealstic
Correct your spelling
unrealistic
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
 from
children
Use synonyms
 may develop
selfe-esteem
Correct your spelling
self-esteem
, which could impact
overall
Linking Words
 personal development. Resentment and emotional distance with
parents
Use synonyms
 can be
result
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
 of
over
Use the right word
overpressure
show examples
pressure
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
parents
Check wording
parents'
show examples
 intentions might
rooted
Verb problem
be rooted
show examples
 in concern and ambition, too much
pressure
Use synonyms
 can
more
Verb problem
do more
show examples
 harm than good. A balanced approach encourages efforts,
resilence
Use the right word
resilience
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 personal growth will be a better practice to raise
children
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Make sure to check for spelling and grammar mistakes; for example, 'excert' should be 'exert', 'furture' should be 'future', and 'unrealstic' should be 'unrealistic'. Also, use complete forms like 'their children' instead of 'children'.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs have clear main ideas, but make sure to support them with specific examples or stories to make your points stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Try to link your sentences more clearly. Use words like 'however', 'for example', or 'in contrast' to show the relationships between your ideas.
task achievement
You introduced the topic clearly and clearly stated your opinion about the pressure put on children by parents.
task achievement
You identified key reasons why parents pressure children, which are important for understanding the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Excessive pressure
  • Academic achievements
  • Professional success
  • Secure future
  • Social comparison
  • Competitive environment
  • Psychological impact
  • Stress and anxiety
  • Resilience
  • Work ethic
  • Emotional well-being
  • Supportive parenting
  • Achievements
  • Life skills
  • Balance
What to do next:
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