IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some feel governments should invest in preserving minority languages, while others feel this is not a good use of resources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. (Write 250 words.) __________________

A lot of people consider that
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 have to invest money in preserving
languages
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,
meanwhile
Add a comma
meanwhile,
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 other people think that these resources could be spent more efficiently.
While
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 preserving
minority
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languages
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 is significant for culture,
however
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, in my
opinion
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opinion,
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 there are other more important areas to develop,
such
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 as healthcare, education and
urbanization
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urbanisation
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. On the one hand, protecting disappearing
languages
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 is vital for
civilization
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civilisation
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 and humanity. Language is part of communication and how we share our emotions.
Moreover
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,
any
Correct determiner usage
all
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languages
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 have their own deep and long history. By investing money
to
Change preposition
in
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 saving
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languages
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languages,
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 we
also
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 save part of
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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 and their history.
For instance
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, creating dictionaries of endangered
languages
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 or recording their speech. Not only can we retain their language, but
also
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 conserve traditions and culture.
On the other hand
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, despite the importance of
minority
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languages
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, there are a lot of different spheres to invest
.
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in.
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Impoving
Correct your spelling
Improving
 healthcare, education
and
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, and
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infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
 can cause many positive advantages compared to language saving. Access to education, free and
high quality
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high-quality
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 medicine and
developed
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a developed
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 transport system can enhance the standard of living of residents
and
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, and
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 it will be
much
Rephrase
more
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 productive than
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
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 endangered
languages
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.
For example
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, some international research shows that when authorities invest in areas of interest
of
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to
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 society, ameliorating basic needs, citizens feel much more satisfaction in collaborating with governments. For these reasons, as far as I am concerned, investing in
minority
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languages
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 should not be a priority. In conclusion,
although
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 protecting
minority
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languages
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 is extremely necessary to save their distinct culture and traditions, I believe that the government should manage its resources for
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 people.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and stick to it. Sometimes, your ideas can be a bit mixed up.
Task Achievement
Try to clearly show why your ideas are important. Use more examples to support your points better.
General Advice
Make sure to proofread your work for small mistakes. A few grammar and spelling errors can affect understanding.
Task Achievement
You have a clear opinion, and you maintained it throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Your essay covers both views, which shows understanding of the topic.
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