IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that rich nations should allow more
refugees
Use synonyms
 to enter their borders and support them with food and shelter.
This
Linking Words
 essay agrees with
this
Linking Words
 view because rich
countries
Use synonyms
 have enough resources to do
this
Linking Words
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 these
people
Use synonyms
 are fleeing from
.
Correct pronoun usage
them.
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
 that are affected by war and. famine. The main reason developed
countries
Use synonyms
 should take
more
Change preposition
in more
show examples
 displaced
people
Use synonyms
 is that they have the financial ability to do so.
Countries
Use synonyms
 like Germany, the UK and the USA
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 have huge budgets that they collect in the form of tax from their citizens and companies operating in their territory. It would only take a tiny fraction of
this
Linking Words
 wealth to accommodate and feed millions of poorer
people
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, it is estimated that the European Union’s combined GDP is over $18 trillion, and all of the Syrian
refugees
Use synonyms
 could be resettled for less than a billion dollars. Wealthy nations
also
Linking Words
 have a moral obligation because
refugees
Use synonyms
 are trying to enter their land because their homes have been ruined by war and hunger. No one wants to leave their homeland with their families unless it is essential to do so
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 if Western
countries
Use synonyms
 refuse to take them in, they will certainly be in danger of
closing
Use the right word
losing
show examples
 their lives.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 from Syria have no food and are often caught in the middle of
full scale
Use the right word
full-scale
show examples
 battles
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 the main reason why nearly 5 million of them have escaped. In conclusion, affluent states should help to resettle
refugees
Use synonyms
 because they can afford to do so
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it will help save lives.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to have a clear thesis statement in the introduction that outlines your main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to connect your ideas in a more seamless manner.
Task Achievement
Add more specific examples or details to support your points more clearly.
Task Achievement
The essay has a clear position and presents good reasons for the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure is well-organized with clear paragraphs.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
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