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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, the number of people who visit art galleries is declining. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this situation?

In recent decades, the
amount
Check wording
number
show examples
 of visits to
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 is decreasing
day-by-day
Use the right word
day by day
show examples
. There are some reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 issue
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such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
icreasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 use of social
media
Use synonyms
 and high
cost
Use synonyms
 of
tickets
Use synonyms
 to
art
Use synonyms
galeries
Correct your spelling
galleries
,
while
Linking Words
 some possible steps can be implemented to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem.
This
Linking Words
 essay will shed light on both
couses
Correct your spelling
causes
 and
sollutions
Correct your spelling
solutions
. There are some main causes for
this
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 trend, first of all,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
individuals
Use synonyms
 use social
media
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for
Change preposition
to
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 follow the
art
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 agenda.
For example
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, people can see new
art
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 pieces of famous artists on their social
media
Use synonyms
 accounts, watch them live
while
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 they work on their
art
Use synonyms
,
instead
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 of
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
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 their
work places
Use the right word
workplaces
show examples
, which leads to
declining
Correct article usage
a declining
show examples
 number of visits to
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, nowadays, the
cost
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 of
tickets
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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 enter the showrooms is very high.
That is
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 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 many
individuals
Use synonyms
 prefer to
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 more
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cost effective
Use the right word
cost-effective
show examples
 activities.
According to
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 the
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
 of a group from
Cambrige university
Correct your spelling
Cambridge University
, 45% of
individuals
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which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
show examples
 want to go
Use synonyms
art
Change preposition
to art
show examples
galleries
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 find
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
 very expensive.
Also
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, the number of people who find
this
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 activity very boring
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very high.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
 issue is not
insourmountable
Correct your spelling
insurmountable
,
while
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 enough regulations
implemented
Verb problem
are implemented
show examples
. First and foremost, increasing
awarenes
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the importance of
art
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
in
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 schools or
Change preposition
on televisions
show examples
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
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 through big companies.
For example
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, schools and universities can add artwork lessons to their
teach
Replace the word
teaching
show examples
 program, to raise interest and improve
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
show examples
 of their students.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
decline
Verb problem
reducing
show examples
 the
cost
Use synonyms
 of
tickets
Use synonyms
 to enter the
maestry
Correct your spelling
master
galleries
Use synonyms
 can be
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 step to solve
this
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 situation, as expensive
tickets
Use synonyms
 are one of the main problems. If
this
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 kind of
Use synonyms
galleries
Fix the agreement mistake
gallery
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 supported by governments through investing money,
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this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 companies can
atract
Correct your spelling
attract
 more and more people with their cheap
tickets
Use synonyms
 and amazing views.
Additionally
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, governments, companies and schools should organise free tours to
art
Use synonyms
galleries
Use synonyms
 and showrooms, which can help to
surge
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 the number of
individuals
Use synonyms
 who visit
there
Use the right word
them
show examples
. In conclusion, the interest
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the artworks is decreasing
everyday
Use the right word
every day
show examples
.
While
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 there are some main causes behind
this
Linking Words
 trend
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as high
cost
Use synonyms
 and
spread
Correct article usage
the spread
show examples
 of social
media
Use synonyms
, some
possile sollutions
Correct your spelling
possible solutions
 can be implemented to solve
this
Linking Words
 issue, increasing
awarenes
Correct your spelling
awareness
, organising tours and declining costs.

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language
Make sure to proofread your essay for spelling and grammar errors.
structure
Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and support that idea with details.
content
Try to provide more examples or facts to back up your points.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.
content
You addressed both reasons and solutions to the problem.
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